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Testimony: Age 44 — Diagnoses include Fibromyalgia, Migraines, IBS, Anxiety, depression, Osteoarthritis, degenerative disk disease, neck fusion a year ago from C3 to C7 living with pins, rods and plates now, Diabetes (Type 2), High blood pressure, High cholesterol. Yep this is ME.
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If your little one wanders you may want to take note of this…..
This is a brilliant way to create “If lost, call your number here” temporary tattoos to protect your kiddos at fairs, amusement parks, large malls, etc. All you need is a sharpie and liquid band aid!
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Our house hold is a happy one, we joke around, we laugh, we share our feeling and frustrations with each other, our hopes and dreams. We have taught our kids to look at the positive things in life, we love them unconditional, and are always there for them when they need us and help others understand as well. They are also here for us too, there have been many times I have gotten encouraging words from our kids 🙂 Makes my heart melt and helps me to keep on going. They also make us laugh at the things that comes out of there mouths. Some things they say also surprises me and helps me to know that they do understand all that I do for them.
Last year Tyler and Travis turned 18, I had picked them up early from school and we were all talking together, a song came on the radio that the words really hit home, I told them that’s how I feel about all of them, that I will fight for them and do anything possible to make life easier for them, I then told them how proud of them I was, they have come such a long way and that I will always be proud of them no matter what. There was a pause in the conversation and Tyler piped up and said “Mom, I am proud of you too” I was very surprised by this and said oh, he says “ya Mom, I am proud of you for looking after us”. Talk about heart melt, tears came to my eyes, and I knew right then that they got it, they understand all I do is for them 🙂 They all then said they were proud of me and thanked me for being there Mom. WOW what an awesome moment.
Then there are things they say that make us laugh so hard, even when I am getting frustrated because they are taking so long to get ready for school. You see they have no concept of time, so to them goofing around, moving slow, they feel that everyone will just wait, well that’s not how it is and I have tried so hard to make them understand this, you need to be out at the bus stop for 7:30 as the bus comes at 7:40. I aim for 7:30 that way if they need that extra 10 min they wont miss the bus.
One morning Tyler was being his “joker” self, I was on him to hurry up and get moving as he was going to miss his bus, he kept goofing around and goofing around, well I was getting so frustrated and it was like he has no care in the world, I finally said “Tyler, stop acting so stupid and get ready for school” well he stopped dead, put his hand on his hip look at me and said, “Mom, I am not acting stupid, I am acting sarcastically”. I had to walk away as I would have started to laugh. They all never take Barry seriously, which is so funny, everything Barry does is so funny to them. But on one occasion, Barry is always goofing around, I had asked him one morning to empty the garbage as it was over flowing, his response was, “oh I cant I am too busy”, Travis was getting ready for school, stopped dead in his tracks and said “you know Dad, you should do what your wife says” and kept going, OMG how funny to hear that out of his mouth..LOL.. And nothing goes unsaid, if they think it is important they will tell you, its a good thing I don’t get embarrassed easily as somethings they say to others well should not be said, but they don’t look at it that way. Here are a few good stories that I have learned, one day at school Tyler pulled his teacher over and said “do you know what my Mom does in the morning”, she said “no Tyler, what does she do” he says “well Mrs. she farts and then says, oh Maggie” LOL (Maggie is our dog). Like I said good thing I don’t get embarrassed easily. Another one is that my Dad always goofs around with the kids, he has a artificial tree in his room, well he told the kids that it is a Marijuana plant, I said omg Dad don’t tell them that they will tell people that my Papa grows marijuana. Well Tyler writes in a journal at school, I love reading it, and one of his pages says ” My Papa has a plant in his bedroom and did you know its a marijuana plant” lol omg, sometimes they don’t get the kidding part when someone is kidding. LOL.
Another thing they really don’t grasp the concept of is money, we have been working hard to get them to understand, but it has been a difficult one. If they want something they always says “well use the card” (referring to the bank card) they we try to explain that there is no money in the bank, well use the card it will work, they just don’t get the fact that well Daddy has to get his pay cheque first. So one day I took them grocery shopping, life skills is an important part and we try to teach them the best we can. I am always on them about no wasting food as well groceries are expensive and there is no need to waste, to me its throwing money out the window. With taking them grocery shopping it is also teaching them math skills, I get them to help me, like here Travis take this bag and get me 6 apples, or which one is cheaper, look at the price and tell me which on is less money. So on one grocery shopping trip we got to the cash register and they had helped put the groceries on the belt and then put them back into the cart, keep in mind my kids blurt stuff out and well are not quiet about it, so after all was tallied up, the lady said that will be 300 and something ( I cant remember the exact amount) well Travis blurts out and I am sure everyone in the whole store heard him “holy shit Mom that’s a lot of money, I will never waste food again” well he sure did learn about the cost of things that day lol.
When they were younger they did a lot more things in public that well they should not have, but then again, they do have autism and sometimes things just come out. I will never forget this one. They have just learned they really liked the song from the Group Bloodhound Gang Discovery channel, well if you ever heard this song you know what its about. So the kids from our church were to get up and sing Jesus Loves me for the elderly at church, Tyler and Travis were to take part as well, they understood at our church and were really awesome with the kids, my girlfriend and I made sure they were put at the end with in reach of us in case they had some problems. So all these little darling were getting lined up to sing, they started to sing, it was so cute, well this triggered something in the twins about songs and one of them piped up “have you heard the discovery channel song” I almost died, my girlfriend and I looked at each other and quickly both took one boy and took them out as fast as we could while they starting singing ” you and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do it on Discovery channel”
They imitate ANYTHING, they hear, you have to be so careful what you say around them, well my husband is not one who tents to watch what he says, and when they hear something that he says they think its funny and well they imitate him and it goes on for MONTHS. On one occasion Barry stubbed his toe, well anyone who knows my husband knows he is a little rough around the edges, well the air was a bit heated when this happened and for over three months they would imitate Barry, stubbing his toe, and all the foul language that when along with it. They would literately go to the same place he stubbed his toe, pretend to stub there toe and hop around swearing like there Dad did. Drove me nuts, Barry tries to be more cautious with his words now.
They have also surprised me with other things as well, I have a very bad back and I am not to be lifting heavy things, but I am I will admit my own worst enemy. I was doing laundry and I had Tyler and Travis’s laundry basket and was taking it down stairs, Travis came along and noticed me carrying it, stopped put down his game and scolded me, “Mom, you are NOT suppose to be carrying heavy things, here I will take it, next time ask” I was told lol.
I cant even begin to imagine what my kids say to others, maybe I dont want to know lol, but to them its ok, I do find out somethings and I am glad that it gets a good chuckle out of people. I am very open and honest with the kids, and when I was going for my hysterectomy I explained it all to the kids the best I could so they would understand. Well, I found out that my youngest son Brandon just had to tell about it, so apparently, he did his research on it, and actually got up in front of the WHOLE class and did a presentation on his Mom getting her baby parts taken out LOL, he did this on the day of my surgery, I was told that one of the E.A.’s had to leave the room so she would not been seen laughing, oh I wish I could have been a fly on the wall that day LOL. From what I was told it was quiet comical.
Like I said I am very open and honest with the kids, so one day I had the question, Mom what is a condom, well they were older and it was time to have “the talk”. Barry was sleeping on the couch and I was getting the kids ready for bed, so we sat in Tyler and Travis’s room and I started to have “the talk” with them, I got a condom and showed them what it was, Travis blurted out “that would never fit me” one of the many comments made in our conversation. I told them all I knew about the boy parts and then the question came, “well what about girls” so I answered with “well have you ever heard of a period” Tyler responded with ” yes, always, it give you a happy period” well I could not contain myself anymore and laughed so hard. “The talk” was quiet comical and they learned alot. So the next morning (Barry not knowing of this talk) one of the kids asked Barry, Dad, have you ever worn a condom, well Barry has a hard time with “the talk” and he went beat red and said “oh no, I have never had sex before”, Tyler stood there and I could see the wheels turning, and he said “umm Dad that’s a lie, we are here” then I told Barry we had “the talk”. So they did get it, and now Barry will have to answer the questions hahahaha, he told them its law and they cant have sex till they are 21 or married, good grief.
One thing for sure is there is never a dull moment in our house, and our kids ask lots of questions, and we answer them the best we can. I hope you enjoyed some of our humerus stories and it put a smile on your face, I know I am sitting here laughing with tears streaming down my cheeks as I write this, my kids are a hoot and can put a smile on your face when you are down, they just seem to sense it and know what to do 🙂
Have a wonderful day everyone xo
After we get married, start our family, and move away, we loose touch with the rest of our family and friends. I know we did. Having kids changes everything. Having children with special needs changes thing even more. Your twice as busy, with appointments, agencies, therapy, etc. The real issue is though, you go to family functions and well, when your child has a behavior and cant help it as he is having a sensory overload, and that some of your family gives you the look, or tries to give advice. Well you end up leaving, feeling like you don’t belong, sad and mad, Barry and I felt that so many times, so we thought the best was to just quit going. This again is lack of knowledge on others parts, and not wanting to “cause” a scene and hurting others. I use to get very angry and well I will admit I have a mouth and can fly off. And I did not want to do that, so the best was…stay home.. Looking back now I wish I had done things differently, we had children young which was a good plan as I could not have done what I all did now. Now that I am older, I wish I would have explained things more, but you get hurt and think screw it, I am so tired of it . Its sad as then you grow away from family and friends and loose touch.
Don’t let that happen to you. You need to stand up for your children and explain to people why things happen. We thought that by doing this we were saving ourselves from the hurt and sadness for ourselves and our children. We all want to be accepted, and in order for this you need to educate people about the disabilities your children might have. Only then can people learn to accept what its all about. And well if they don’t, oh well then you move on and forget about those who are that way. Life for sure is a journey and its your attitude that helps make that journey special. I know that back then I told my Mom, I am NEVER going to a family function again, it hurts that my own family are giving me the looks and talking about us, I told her I was done with it. Well if I would have just not gotten so angry (I was angry because I was very hurt) and just maybe explained it thinks might have been different, even got up in front of all the family and did a presentation on Autism and helped them to understand, (that family function is big with alot of people). Back then I was to quick to get pissed off…LOL.. its amazing what age can do.
I actually did do a presentation at my church with our ladies group, I talked about the boys and there birth, the struggles and the diagnosis, and answered questions anyone may have had, I was so nervous when I did it BUT I did and it helped alot, it helped people to understand Autism and why the children act or do the things they do. Also back then I did not know all I know now :). we were excepted in our church with open arms, people understood and took the time to help and to ask if they did not know. It was so awesome and I miss that, they were all like family to me 🙂
My advice is to don’t give up and explain to people why this happens, it might save you from feeling that your not welcomed into your family, or that your family does not love or respect you anymore. People do not realize what a look or a few words can do to someone, especially when they deal with a lot in life and are looking for acceptance.
I firmly believe that educating people is the way, so then no one feels hurt and not accepted.
I will tell you that well sometimes confronting does not work, as I did finally write and e-mail to a cousin of mine, with something that had happened at the last family function we went too and the way he acted. Me having my own physical disabilities I am sometimes up late or cant sleep because of pain. Well I told him what he did and how much that effected my son and made him feel and how it made me feel, I got it all off my chest. His e-mail back to me was so socking and hurtful. He told me that I had the symptoms of an alcoholic, I read this and was like WTH, I started to cry and so many things when through my mind, I am on medication, I have chronic pain, I don’t need alcohol, I am so NOT an alcoholic. why would you say that? what gives you the right to judge me this way? I was so upset, hurt and angry with this response I thought Well I let it go..but it did bother me, so finally I called my Mom and shared with her my e-mail and his response, She was floored at what was said, she was so upset and wanted to tear a strip off of this family member, and I know I did nothing wrong but share how I felt, but to be told that I was an Alcoholic when in fact this cousin does not know me that well, was very very hurtful. Just because there are others in our family that are, you should NEVER EVER judge someone else by past experiences. Like really, this is when I so want to tell someone come walk a mile in my shoes and see what my life is all about.
This is when you need to let it go and move on, if people want to think you are like that then fine. Let them. You cant let someone elses words take away your happiness, this is when it comes down to ignorance of people who are uneducated. They don’t know you obviously and don’t know the road you walk on. As long as you know who you are and so does God that’s all that matters. Words can hurt yes, but this is when you need to educate people so they can understand better. But as I said sometimes it does not work and you just need to let it go and know you stood up for yourself. This is just one of the few encounters I have had over the years. I want my children to take part in things, but again I want to protect them as well, I stopped going to the family functions as I was protecting our children from the ignorance of others and to be honest no one really paid them much attention so why should I go?? Just to be there?? To show that I care, I do care but why should I and my children be outcasted because they are not the “perfect” child?? Because they have a temper tantrum because there suffer from sensory overload (I found that out only a few years ago, I knew that was the problem but it takes so long to get assessments done), they can not help who they are, and why they do the things they do. To Barry and I they are Perfect. So in all honestly why would I take part in a family function when you get the “LOOK” or you see others looking and talking, when all your worried about is please dont have a melt down, please behave etc. I have spent so many years trying to get my boys to behave a way that would please others, because of the way I was brought up, and the way one should behave. I realized long ago that I had to stop doing that, stop trying to make my kids behave because really that is not going to happen. Once I realized what I was doing just to please others, I myself became more relaxed, and well I thought these are my kids and if you dont like what happens then dont bother, if you wont take to the time to understand then thats your problem not mine. If you take the time to understand, and educate yourself then sit down with my boys and talk to them, you will learn ALOT. They are amazing kids, they have a great sense of humor, they are funny, loving, caring, kind, helpful, kids. Sure they have there moment BUT dont we all, they just dont know how to deal with it the right way, so what, get to know them and I think you will be surprised 🙂 And always forgive the ones who have been rude, or ignorant as they just dont know. And in order for you to move on you need to forgive that person for there actions.
Remember that Education is the key in order to stop the ridiculed behaviors of others. And to the people who do not understand, Words are a very powerful tool and when you use them the wrong way it can really hurt, Educate yourself before you speak, and remember that lady in the grocery store who’s child in on the floor having a temper tantrum, well it maybe that he or she has a disability. So dont judge when you dont know, we take our children with us for a reason, they need to learn and they have a right to be in society just like you do.
Have a wonderful day everyone, and I really hope who ever ready my blogs that I help in some way, and if you are suffering as well, I am her to help you through it. I have been there and I understand.
God Bless xoxo
This I feel we don’t do enough of, do you know that with just one up lifting word you can make someone’s day a whole lot better? Did you know that sometime when you feel you need to call someone, or write them a quick e-mail, that it’s a message that they need some love that day.
There has been lots of times I have had it upon me to just write something short to someone, then I come to find out that what I said made there day. Our words are very powerful, we can build someone up very easily or tear them down. Sometimes with out even knowing we can hurt someone with what we have said, or did.
The worst of this is gossip, now that a subject that is very hurtful. I could never understand why people need to do this, to talk about others, and to spread nasty rumours around about them. I feel that when people do this, they them selves have issues and need to make others look bad so they don’t. But little do they know that when they do these things that it can tear someone down so easily.. BUT only if YOU allow it. That’s the point, if you allow someone’s words tear you down, it can be so crucial to your well being. I myself have for years now listened to rumours about people and about myself, I use to let them get me down, but then one day it hit me, I am NOT this person, I DO NOT do that, I know who I am and so does God, so why am I letting this get to me? I pondered about it for sometime and meditated on that, I came to the conclusion that well if that’s what they want to say so be it, I know who I am, people who know me well know who I am, and well this persons life is so filled with resentment and bitterness, they want to try and look good to others so they need to make other people look bad.. Oh that so wrong at my expense, but I know who I am so I need to not let this get to me. Have you ever been in this kind of situation?? Its hard to swallow, BUT you need to look into yourself and know who you are, and know that God knows who you are and that’s all that matters. Took me along time to get to this point, you need to hold you head high and remember that you are loved by many. Each day look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are a creation of God, you are loved, you are special, and you will not let others bring you down. And just know that when you are feeling down you can call upon God’s love to help you threw it. But also pray for the person who is saying things about you. I do believe in Karma and usually these things back fire.
But back to positive affirmations, you need to always lift yourself up and others, always believe in yourself. Positive affirmations are positive sentences repeated many times in order to impress the subconscious mind and trigger it into action. These sentences describe a situation that we desire to happen, and are repeated many times, with conviction, attention and feelings. More than often people repeat negative sentences and statements, concerning diverse situations in their lives, and consequently bring upon themselves undesirable situations. Affirmations work both ways, to build and to destroy. They are a kind of a neutral power. It is the way we use them that determines whether they are going to bring good or harmful results. I want positive results don’t you?? So here I have a list of some to help you in what ever you going threw, remember that when you are doing this, there should be no physical, emotional or mental tension while repeating them. The stronger the concentration, the more faith you have in what you are doing, the more feelings you put into the act, the stronger and faster will be the results. Never put yourself down as when you do you are telling your subconscious mind the negative and that’s when you start to believe it yourself, for example you desire to lose weight, do not say, “I am not fat, I am losing weight.” By saying this sentence you are repeating to your subconscious mind that you are fat. The word “losing” also evokes negative images. It is better to say, “My body has an athletic form, and weighs the right and healthy weight”. Such words evoke positive images in the mind. As to results, sometimes they may come fast, and at other times may take more time to manifest. Achieving results through the power of affirmations depends on how much time, energy, faith and feelings you invest in your affirmations, on how big or small is your goal, and on how strong is your desire.
By using the power of affirmations you state what you want to be true in your life. You see reality, as you want it to be. For a while, you ignore your current circumstances and your doubts, and concentrate on a different reality. Hopefully this find you well, and remember to be true to yourself and others, uplift yourself always and think positive.
– I am healthy and happy.
– Wealth is pouring into my life.
– I am flowing on the river of wealth.
– I am getting wealthier each day.
– My body is healthy and functioning in a very good way.
– I have a lot of energy.
– I study and comprehend fast.
– I am getting A’s in my exams.
– My mind is calm.
– I am calm and relaxed in every situation.
– My thoughts are under my control.
– I radiate love and happiness.
– I am surrounded by love.
– I have the perfect job for me.
– I am living in the house of my dreams.
– I have good and loving relations with my wife/husband.
– I have a wonderful satisfying job.
– I have the means to travel abroad whenever I want to.
– I am successful in whatever I do.
– Everything is getting better every day.
Well I have made threw the 15 appointments this month.. YES 15…and OMG what a month it was. For an update on my bladder/kidneys they are all OK.. thank god, it was a long wait for all the test to be done then with the weather and having to reschedule appointments. But everything came back good :). As for the cyst on my ovary i have to go and get a surgery done called a Laparoscopy done. So we will wait on that one. I am still waiting to hear back about my gallbladder, I have been having sharp pain on my right side under my rib cage and my Dr thinks it may be my gallbladder and if so it will be coming out, I have had a number of days when I have been in bed with the pain and vomiting. Good grief will it ever end, seems like I go for a while and then all of a sudden BAM I have a lot wrong with me. Just another hurdle life has thrown at me and we will get threw it 🙂
We got our youngest into see the Psychiatrists as well and he has been doing very well with all his med changes. We hope that we have gotten the right ones and his moods will even out 🙂 so far so good, its so nice to see him happy 🙂 We had a case conference with the school so everyone is on the same page so we can better help him 🙂 I am so very thankful for all the help we have with the school. His teacher is a god sent.
I have not written about this but now I will. In January we took a child in to our home, he is a teen with special needs, he has been kick out of his home 3times since October of 2012, poor lad come from an abusive home and with a mother who just does not understand his disabilities and feel that he is 16 and should know better. Well he does not as he has a disability that prevents him from comprehending information and expressing himself as well, and he usually expressed himself with frustration which is taken by his mother as attitude. I have a very hard time talking with this woman as she just does not “GET IT” I really feel for this poor boy as he has had a life time of being in the wrong and getting yelled at all the time, and the lack of understanding. Barry and I are the type of ppl who cant turn our backs on others in need. He showed up at our house in tears and so scared as he cant live on his own as he does not have the comprehension or the tools to do so. He was on his own in a hotel room for 2 days before he came to our house. I just don’t understand how someone can do this to a child who has a disability, someone who will not take the time to understand what this child is the way his is. I kind of understand more now as when she eventually figured out he was with us she went off the deep end on the phone with me and told me to F* off and hung up, and about 5 minutes later called me back and apologized, but not once threw the conversation said thank you for looking after her son, all she did was say negative things about him and the things he did. Now I know what kind of life he lived in this home. Very sad indeed. He has a hard time opening up, but we are encouraging him to talk with us and telling him that he is a great kid (which he is) and that we can help him more if he does. I have been told from his teacher that he is alot more relaxed now at school which is awesome. I feel as time goes on he will come out of his shell and open up and he will also be able to blossom as he is now in a safe environment and loved and cared for. There is a lot more that has gone on but i am sure you all got the picture. 🙂 The way I see it is Jesus would not turn any child away and neither should I 🙂
People ask me how I do it, well I guess I will have to say point blank, it is the strength from HIM that I can do what I do, I have no other way to explain it at all. I live by the Bible verse
I CAN DO EVERYTHING THROUGH HIM WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH Philippians 4:13. I have been living this for years, I have a plaque on my wall I read every morning, I cant explain where my strength, courage, wisdom, patience, kindness, come from but with in. I keep going down life’s path and where ever it takes me I know I am on the right track as I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. 🙂
Wishing you all a fantastic Monday xoxo
Well what a few months I have had. Life in our house is never boring that’s for sure, I have been so frustrated and stressed to the max. So I will tell you what has been going on.
SO it started with myself and well my bladder issues, I get chronic bladder infections, it started with a x-ray of my kidneys and bladder, well they found out I have one kidney bigger than the other and a huge scythe on my right ovary, so then it starts with a trip to the pee pee Dr (that what I call him) and an appointment to see a gynecologist which is scheduled for next week. So my first visit to the pee pee dr is to talk about what going on, he then wants to do this test on me called a cystoscopy, done in the OR your awake with freezing. The insert a camera to look at your kidneys and bladder. So mean while I am going through this we are having big time behavior problems with our youngest son. Calls from school and his emotions are all over the map. He is so unpredictable, they have upped his med in hopes to help.
So i go to the appointment and let me tell you I had no idea what to expect, all I kept thinking was OMG they are going to put a needle down there to freeze it LOL.. THANK GOD that did not happen, they put freezing in there with a syringe and then go in with the camera while they pump your bladder full, and of course on the way to the hospital for this appointment i get a call from the school, he is acting up again, great well I don’t really have time for this. So I get to the OR, he goes is and finds that i have a duplex left collecting system, plus the possibility of having urethral reflux, which I went for another test for that one. I will find out tomorrow as I go to see the pee pee dr to discuss with him what is going on and what my options are, oh at to add to that my urine incontinence is back. Ok so that one thing out there, now back to my son, we have been having some issues with him for some time, we know he is developmentally challenged, with mixed receptive and expressive disorder, major depression, psychosis NOS (not other wise specified) which I think that was given to him as the dr in the hospital did not know what was really going on. So to back it up a bit, since last January we have been having some problems (I hate using that word, but I don’t know how else to say it). We found out that he had been cutting himself for 2 years, he was suicidal, then the voices started and things kind of got worse from there. Then he was hospitalized for 7 days.
So last week we find out that he has been smoking pot. He tries so hard to fit in, and the fact that he is so easily talked into doing something scares the hell out of me, and the fact because of his mental illness he has a hard time with his though pattern, as it impair the way he thinks. He has such a difficult time with so many things and smoking pot will only make things worse for him as it can send him to another psychotic episode. So he was suspended for a week because he was caught at school. Aghhh.. he is such a good boy, he is caring, helpful, thoughtful, it so saddens me to see all this happening to him.
So yesterday we FINALLY got into see a physicist for him we had been refund to a program called Early Intervention to psychosis, and along with this program is a Physicist attached, and we had a good long talk, he said that he feels he is between schizophrenia and bi polar disorder, so we have changed his meds around to help with his moods, and sleep and we see him again in a months time. So this is where i am at, dealing with my son, dealing with my health issues and all the appointments that come with it. I still have more tests to go through, more doctors appointments to find out whats going on with myself. I told Barry that I wish they could just scan my whole body and fix it all at once LOL.. We will get through it as we always do, Barry and I have such a strong relationship and we have been through so much already that I feel we can get through anything. 🙂
Again I do apologize to all my readers for talking such a long time to blog again, I will try harder to blog more often. I should be as I can get it all out there when I do.
Have an awesome day everyone