Are you FREE?

Nobody is truly free, until they no longer have a need to impress people ~Joyce Meyer~

Don’t waste your life trying to impress people to be happy, you will never be free if you do, as the longer you try to impress others the more unhappy you will be. Think of Jesus, he never cared what other thought of him, He went about doing his work and not giving a care to what others thought, He knew what He was doing was RIGHT and that was preaching God’s word. Being a people pleaser will only hurt you, as the more you try to please and impress the more you get hurt, OH dont I know this one, I tried for YEARS to please certain ones in my life and I was always so stressed out, I was never happy, until I learned that I DON’T NEED to do this anymore. Not everyone will do what you want them too, not everyone will think the way you do, no one person is the same. Some people live lives full of bitterness and resentment, and you will NEVER be able to please these types of people. Remember that God did not make you to be a doormat, to be used and abused. Is life really worth walking around stressed out and bitter all the time?? YES you can forgive these people but that does not mean you have to have a relationship with them. I have forgiven many people in my lifetime for the pain they caused me, BUT I do not chose to have a relationship with them, because if I do I will be walking down that same path I did before and for me it is NOT WORTH living like that . Sometime you have to accept that people will not change and you can not change them, MOVE ON. I have STOPPED trying to impress people and please them, I know who I am, I know my heart and so does God and that’s what matters <3
Everyone’s attitude belongs to them and nobody can give you a bad or good attitude, that’s your RESPONSIBILITY and your CHOICE to control. If your going to live a life with a bad negative attitude, then your life is going to be filled with anger and bitterness, if you are going to live life with a happy, carefree, content life, then you are going to have a live FULL of Blessings, its your Choice NO ONE elses. What do you Chose??

 

10 Habits to help you bring more Happiness into your life :D

Do you know those people who always seem to be happy?

Even faced with challenges or adversity, there are certain people who seem to maintain their joyful state and love for life, no matter what.

It turns out that joyful people tend to have a few habits that help them to get the most out of life and keep them looking on the bright side…

So if you want to infuse more happiness into your life right now, keep these 10 habits in mind

Habit #1: Appreciate life ~ Develop an attitude of gratitude and count your blessings! When you start looking for things to be thankful for, you’ll discover more reasons to be grateful.

Habit #2: Keep learning ~ Invest time and energy into continually learning and developing new skills. Keep your brain stimulated with exciting information and hobbies.

Habit #3: Do what you love ~ This may seem obvious, but a majority of people dislike their job! Choose a career that you enjoy and make time in your schedule for your hobbies and to pursue special interests.

Habit #4: Laughter – Don’t take life too seriously! Laugh at yourself, make light of your circumstances and infuse fun into daily activities.

Habit #5: Forgiveness – Holding onto anger, resentment or jealousy will only hurt you. Learn to forgive others & yourself for mistakes. Let it go and move on.

Habit #6: Meditation ~ More and more research is showing that meditation has major benefits on health and well-being. It increases positive emotions, life satisfaction and immune function.

Habit #7: Love ~ Nurture your relationships with friends & family and make it a priority to spend time with and to support your loved ones.

Habit #8: Stop comparing ~ Happy people don’t waste their time worrying about what other people think, or with gossiping. Let go of the need to judge or criticize. Instead concentrate on creating and living YOUR best life.

Habit #9: Be positive! ~ Make an effort to see the glass half full and always look for the silver lining in any situation. If you notice a negative thought creeping into your mind, counteract it with a powerful, positive affirmation.

Habit #10: Surround yourself with those who take you higher ~ Surround yourself with happy, positive people who truly want the best for you and support you on your journey to success.

The more you incorporate these 10 habits into your daily life, the happier you’ll be.

So which tips will you start implementing into your life right now?

Don’t procrastinate on this, your best life is waiting

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Education is the Key :)

After we get married,  start our family, and move away, we loose touch with the rest of our family and friends. I know we did. Having kids changes everything. Having children with special needs changes thing even more. Your twice as busy, with appointments, agencies, therapy, etc. The real issue is though, you go to family functions and well, when your child has a behavior and cant help it as he is having a sensory overload, and  that some of your family gives you the look, or tries to give advice. Well you end up leaving, feeling like you don’t belong, sad and mad, Barry and I felt that so many times, so we thought the best was to just quit going. This again is lack of knowledge on others parts, and not wanting to “cause” a scene and hurting others. I use to get very angry and well I will admit I have a mouth and can fly off. And I did not want to do that, so the best was…stay home.. Looking back now I wish I had done things differently, we had children young which was a good plan as I could not have done what I all did now. Now that I am older, I wish I would have explained things more, but you get hurt and think screw it, I am so tired of it . Its sad as then you grow away from family and friends and loose touch.

Don’t let that happen to you. You need to stand up for your children and explain to people why things happen. We thought that by doing this we were saving ourselves from the hurt and sadness for ourselves and our children. We all want to be accepted, and in order for this you need to educate people about the disabilities your children might have. Only then can people learn to accept what its all about. And well if they don’t, oh well then you move on and forget about those who are that way. Life for sure is a journey and its your attitude that helps make that journey special. I know that back then I told my Mom, I am NEVER going to a family function again, it hurts that my own family are giving me the looks and talking about us, I told her I was done with it. Well if I would have just not gotten so angry (I was angry because I was very hurt) and just maybe explained it thinks might have been different, even got up in front of all the family and did a presentation on Autism and helped them to understand, (that family function is big with alot of people). Back then I was to quick to get pissed off…LOL.. its amazing what age can do.

I actually did do a presentation at my church with our ladies group, I talked about the boys and there birth, the struggles and the diagnosis, and answered questions anyone may have had, I was so nervous when I did it BUT I did and it helped alot, it helped people to understand Autism and why the children act or do the things they do.  Also back then I did not know all I know now :).  we were excepted in our church with open arms, people understood and took the time to help and to ask if they did not know.  It was so awesome and I miss that, they were all like family to me 🙂

My advice is to don’t give up and explain to people why this happens, it might save you from feeling that your not welcomed into your family, or that your family does not love or respect you anymore. People do not realize what a look or a few words can do to someone, especially when they deal with a lot in life and are looking for acceptance.

I firmly believe that educating people is the way, so then no one feels hurt and not accepted.
I will tell you that well sometimes confronting does not work, as I did finally write and e-mail to a cousin of mine, with something that had happened at the last family function we went too and the way he acted.   Me having my own physical disabilities I am sometimes up late or cant sleep because of pain. Well I told him what he did and how much that effected my son and made him feel and how it made me feel, I got it all off my chest. His e-mail back to me was so socking and hurtful. He told me that I had the symptoms of an alcoholic, I read this and was like WTH, I started to cry and  so many things when through my mind,  I am on medication, I have chronic pain,  I don’t need alcohol,   I am so NOT an  alcoholic. why would you say that? what gives you the right to judge me this way? I was so upset, hurt and angry with this response I thought  Well I let it go..but  it did bother me, so finally I called my Mom and shared with her my e-mail and his response, She was floored at what was said,  she was so upset and wanted to tear a strip off of this family member, and I know I did nothing wrong but share how I felt, but to be told that I was an Alcoholic when in fact this cousin does not know me that well,  was very very hurtful.  Just because there are others in our family that are, you should NEVER EVER judge someone else by past experiences.  Like really,  this is when I so want to tell someone come walk a mile in my shoes and see what my life is all about.
This is when you need to let it go and move on, if people want to think you are like that then fine. Let them.  You cant let someone elses words take away your happiness, this is when it comes down to ignorance of people who are uneducated. They don’t know you obviously and don’t know the road you walk on. As long as you know who you are and so does God that’s all that matters. Words can hurt yes,  but this is when you need to educate people so they can understand better.  But as I said sometimes it does not work and you just need to let it go and know you stood up for yourself.  This is just one of the few encounters I have had over the years.  I want my children to take part in things, but again I want to protect them as well, I stopped going to the family functions as I was protecting our children from the ignorance of others and to be honest no one really paid them much attention so why should I go?? Just to be there?? To show that I care, I do care but why should I and my children be outcasted because they are not the “perfect” child?? Because they have a temper tantrum because there suffer from sensory overload (I found that out only a few years ago, I knew that was the problem but it takes so long to get assessments done), they can not help who they are, and why they do the things they do.  To Barry and I they are Perfect.  So in all honestly why would I take part in a family function when you get the “LOOK” or you see others looking and talking, when all your worried about is please dont have a melt down, please behave etc.  I have spent so many years trying to get my boys to behave a way that would please others, because of the way I was brought up, and the way one should behave.  I realized long ago that I had to stop doing that, stop trying to make my kids behave because really that is not going to happen.  Once I realized what I was doing just to please others, I myself became more relaxed, and well I thought these are my kids and if you dont like what happens then dont bother, if you wont take to the time to understand then thats your problem not mine.  If you take the time to understand, and educate yourself then sit down with my boys and talk to them, you will learn ALOT.  They are amazing kids, they have a great sense of humor, they are funny, loving, caring, kind, helpful, kids.  Sure they have there moment BUT dont we all, they just dont know how to deal with it the right way, so what, get to know them and I think you will be surprised 🙂  And always forgive the ones who have been rude, or ignorant as they just dont know.  And in order for you to move on you need to forgive that person for there actions.

Remember that Education is the key in order to stop the ridiculed behaviors of others.  And to the people who do not understand, Words are a very powerful tool and when you use them the wrong way it can really hurt, Educate yourself before you speak, and remember that lady in the grocery store who’s child in on the floor having a temper tantrum, well it maybe that he or she has a disability.  So dont judge when you dont know, we take our children with us for a reason, they need to learn and they have a right to be in society just like you do.

Have a wonderful day everyone, and I really hope who ever ready my blogs that I help in some way, and if you are suffering as well, I am her to help you through it. I have been there and I understand.

God Bless xoxo

Positive Affirmations

Positive Affirmations,

This I feel we don’t do enough of, do you know that with just one up lifting word you can make someone’s day a whole lot better? Did you know that sometime when you feel you need to call someone, or write them a quick e-mail, that it’s a message that they need some love that day.

There has been lots of times I have had it upon me to just write something short to someone, then I come to find out that what I said made there day.  Our words are very powerful, we can build someone up very easily or tear them down.  Sometimes with out even knowing we can hurt someone with what we have said, or did.
The worst of this is gossip, now that a subject that is very hurtful.  I could never understand why people need to do this, to talk about others, and to spread nasty rumours around about them.  I feel that when people do this, they them selves have issues and need to make others look bad so they don’t.  But little do they know that when they do these things that it can tear someone down so easily.. BUT only if YOU allow it.  That’s the point, if you allow someone’s words tear you down, it can be so crucial to your well being.  I myself have for years now listened to rumours about people and about myself, I use to let them get me down, but then one day it hit me, I am NOT this person, I DO NOT do that, I know who I am and so does God, so why am I letting this get to me?  I pondered about it for sometime and meditated on that, I came to the conclusion that well if that’s what they want to say so be it, I know who I am, people who know me well know who I am, and well this persons life is so filled with resentment and bitterness, they want to try and look good to others so they need to make other people look bad.. Oh that so wrong at my expense, but I know who I am so I need to not let this get to me.  Have you ever been in this kind of situation?? Its hard to swallow, BUT you need to look into yourself and know who you are, and know that God knows who you are and that’s all that matters.  Took me along time to get to this point, you need to hold you head high and remember that you are loved by many.  Each day look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are a creation of God, you are loved, you are special, and you will not let others bring you down.  And just know that when you are feeling down you can call upon God’s love to help you threw it.  But also pray for the person who is saying things about you.  I do believe in Karma and usually these things back fire.

But back to positive affirmations, you need to always lift yourself up and others, always believe in yourself.  Positive affirmations are positive sentences repeated many times in order to impress the subconscious mind and trigger it into action. These sentences describe a situation that we desire to happen, and are repeated many times, with conviction, attention and feelings. More than often people repeat negative sentences and statements, concerning diverse situations in their lives, and consequently bring upon themselves undesirable situations. Affirmations work both ways, to build and to destroy. They are a kind of a neutral power. It is the way we use them that determines whether they are going to bring good or harmful results.  I want positive results don’t you?? So here I have a list of some to help you in what ever you going threw, remember that when you are doing this, there should be no physical, emotional or mental tension while repeating them. The stronger the concentration, the more faith you have in what you are doing, the more feelings you put into the act, the stronger and faster will be the results. Never put yourself down as when you do you are telling your subconscious mind the negative and that’s when you start to believe it yourself, for example you desire to lose weight, do not say, “I am not fat, I am losing weight.” By saying this sentence you are repeating to your subconscious mind that you are fat. The word “losing” also evokes negative images. It is better to say, “My body has an athletic form, and weighs the right and healthy weight”. Such words evoke positive images in the mind. As to results, sometimes they may come fast, and at other times may take more time to manifest. Achieving results through the power of affirmations depends on how much time, energy, faith and feelings you invest in your affirmations, on how big or small is your goal, and on how strong is your desire.

By using the power of affirmations you state what you want to be true in your life. You see reality, as you want it to be. For a while, you ignore your current circumstances and your doubts, and concentrate on a different reality.  Hopefully this find you well, and remember to be true to yourself and others, uplift yourself always and think positive.

Positive Affirmations
– I am healthy and happy.

– Wealth is pouring into my life.

– I am flowing on the river of wealth.

– I am getting wealthier each day.

– My body is healthy and functioning in a very good way.

– I have a lot of energy.

– I study and comprehend fast.

– I am getting A’s in my exams.

– My mind is calm.

– I am calm and relaxed in every situation.

– My thoughts are under my control.

– I radiate love and happiness.

– I am surrounded by love.

– I have the perfect job for me.

– I am living in the house of my dreams.

– I have good and loving relations with my wife/husband.

– I have a wonderful satisfying job.

– I have the means to travel abroad whenever I want to.

– I am successful in whatever I do.

– Everything is getting better every day.

SO glad that February is almost done :)

Well I have made threw the 15 appointments this month.. YES 15…and OMG what a month it was.  For an update on my bladder/kidneys they are all OK.. thank god, it was a long wait for all the test to be done then with the weather and having to reschedule appointments.  But everything came back good :).  As for the cyst on my ovary i have to go and get a surgery done called a Laparoscopy done.  So we will wait on that one.  I am still waiting to hear back about my gallbladder, I have been having sharp pain on my right side under my rib cage and my Dr thinks it may be my gallbladder and if so it will be coming out, I have had a number of days when I have been in bed with the pain and vomiting.  Good grief will it ever end, seems like I go for a while and then all of a sudden BAM I have a lot wrong with me.  Just another hurdle life has thrown at me and we will get threw it 🙂

We got our youngest into see the  Psychiatrists as well and he has been doing very well with all his med changes.  We hope that we have gotten the right ones and his moods will even out  🙂 so far so good, its so nice to see him happy 🙂  We had a case conference with the school so everyone is on the same page so we can better help him 🙂 I am so very thankful for all the help we have with the school.  His teacher is a god sent.

I have not written about this but now I will.  In January we took a child in to our home, he is a teen with special needs, he has been kick out of his home 3times since October of 2012, poor lad come from an abusive home and with a mother who just does not understand his disabilities and feel that he is 16 and should know better.  Well he does not as he has a disability that prevents him from comprehending information and expressing himself as well, and he usually expressed himself with frustration which is taken by his mother as attitude.  I have a very hard time talking with this woman as she just does not “GET IT” I really feel for this poor boy as he has had a life time of being in the wrong and getting yelled at all the time, and the lack of understanding.  Barry and I are the type of ppl who cant turn our backs on others in need.  He showed up at our house in tears and so scared as he cant live on his own as he does not have the comprehension or the tools to do so.  He was on his own in a hotel room for 2 days before he came to our house.  I just don’t understand how someone can do this to a child who has a disability, someone who will not take the time to understand what this child is the way his is.  I kind of understand more now as when she eventually figured out he was with us she went off the deep end on the phone with me and told me to F* off and hung up, and about 5 minutes later called me back and apologized, but not once threw the conversation said thank you for looking after her son, all she did was say negative things about him and the things he did.  Now I know what kind of life he lived in this home. Very sad indeed.  He has a hard time opening up, but we are encouraging him to talk with us and telling him that he is a great kid (which he is) and that we can help him more if he does.  I have been told from his teacher that he is alot more relaxed now at school which is awesome.  I feel as time goes on he will come out of his shell and open up and he will also be able to blossom as he is now in a safe environment and loved and cared for.  There is a lot more that has gone on but i am sure you all got the picture. 🙂  The way I see it is Jesus would not turn any child away and neither should I 🙂

People ask me how I do it, well I guess I will have to say point blank, it is the strength from HIM that I can do what I do, I have no other way to explain it at all.  I live by the Bible verse

I CAN DO EVERYTHING THROUGH HIM WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH Philippians 4:13. I have been living this for years, I have a plaque on my wall I read every morning, I cant explain where my strength, courage, wisdom, patience, kindness, come from but with in.  I keep going down life’s path and where ever it takes me I know I am on the right track as I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. 🙂

Wishing you all a fantastic Monday xoxo

More frustrations and getting it out there

Ok I am SO tired of so many things, for one, people who do not have children with disabilities DO NOT understand at all.  I am so tired of people telling me how upset and disappointed they are in things my children have done.  All I have to say is walk a mile in their shoes, be in their minds, and try to function.  Live in there bodies and feel what its like. Do you really think they understand and know what they are doing at the time? NO.  Do you really think they are hurting your feelings purposely?? NO.  People need to either ask or educate themselves more, and stop the judging.

Another thing that REALLY gets to me is this : You need to have alone time with you and Barry, you need to get away, you need time together.  Ok for one, that is IMPOSSIBLE as who would look after the kids?? Oh sure i have had people say they would BUT I know for a fact that would not work out well at all.  No offense but, if you think its going to be a walk in the park well think again.  For one it would TOTALLY mess up routine, for two, you would not know what to do when a melt down happened.  And for 3 some have NO idea how busy our life is.  Thats one reason and the other one is lack of funds, we can’t pay for a vacation with buttons and a smile fokes.

I have a job that is 24/7, I put my kids before myself as they need me and their Dad in order to live, they are unable to take care of themselves, they can not handle change.  Barry and I don’t need some expensive vacation to reconnect.  As nice as it would be, we know that is not going to happen with the life we have unless we take the kids with us.

We excepted the fact a very very long time ago this is our life and to be honest we would not CHANGE a thing.  We spend time together in other ways, we ice fish together, we have our time when the kids are in bed, we spend time together, we talk all the time.  In the summer we camp, the kids wander off where we can see them and we spend time together.  And to be honest we are so tired most times that we just enjoy curling up on the couch and watching T.V.  The fact is that we have a very busy, draining life and we cant change it, these are the cards we have been dealt with and well you manage, you cope the best you can.  Taking trips, going away is the last thing on our list.  We are in this life for a very very long time, we have accepted the fact that our children will probably live with us for the rest of our lives, there may not be weddings, grandkids, etc.  But we are not looking that far in the future, we live one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.

All we ask is that people are happy for us, we are happy, we have a life that we have made and we are truly happy, content, peaceful.  We are so tired of the judging, assuming, the remarks.  If you don’t understand then ask, if you still don’t understand then don’t say anything at all.  I know I am doing what is right for my family and we know we don’t live a “normal” life, what ever that is, we are not like others, we are ourselves and we are happy.  We have amazing children who love us, who are caring, helpful, respectful, and sometimes they have there moments but we all do, they need people who have patients and understanding, not people who judge everything they do or say.   I have a very awesome team of people who help us as much as they can, from various organizations, Physicists, Doctors, Case Managers,  Counselors, Teachers, Family and Friends, that understand, listen and support us anyway they can and thats all we ask for in life.  We get so much positive affirmations from them and that’s what helps us to keep on, and keep positive.  That is what we need in life is people who understand, who support us by there kind words and positive thoughts.  We HAVE to stay away from negative people, and negative thoughts, and negative words as we have a lot on our plate to deal with everyday and those things are not part of our lives.  We can not be part of people who bring drama and negativity that they cause them selves.  I know everyone has things in there lives that they are going threw, but when its things that you can not control that is different.  When it something that you can change to make your life and others around you better than change it.  We cant change our children, we cant change the cards we have been dealt with, but we can control and change the environment and the people in it.  We are and have done so as we cant afford to have our children subjected to negativity as they already have a hard enough time as it is. We need people who are going to support us and bring positive energy around us.

Life life to the fullest, change your prospective on life, change your attitude towards life and think positive.  Those who do positive things will happen 🙂

Have an awesome day and do something nice for someone today, weather it be a phone call to an old friend, a positive note to them, tell someone what they mean to you, take a family member out to lunch, go visit someone.  Do something for someone today as you have no idea what how much that will mean to them.  One positive thing can totally change how someone is feeling. xox oxo

Looking Back Over The Years :)

 After we get married, move away and start our family, we lose touch with the rest of our family and friends.  I know we did.  Having kids changes everything.  Having children with special needs changes thing even more.  Your twice as busy, with appointments, agencies, therapy, etc.  The real issue is though, you go to family functions and well, when your child has a behavior and can’t help that some of your family gives you the look, or tries to give advice.  Well you end up leaving, feeling like a shit, sad and mad, Barry and I felt that so many times, so we thought the best was to just quit going.  This again is lack of knowledge on others parts, and not wanting to “cause” a scene and hurting others.  I use to get very angry and well I will admit I have a mouth and can fly off.  And I did not want to do that, so the best was…stay home.. Looking back now I wish I had done things differently, we had children young which was a good plan as I could not have done what I all did now.  Now that I am older, I wish I would have explained things more, but you get hurt and think screw it, I am so tired of it .  It’s sad as then you grow away from family and friends and lose touch.

Don’t let that happen to you.  You need to stand up for your children and explain to people why things happen.  EDUCATION!! Yes that’s the way to go.  We thought that by doing this we were saving ourselves from the hurt and sadness for ourselves and our children.  We all want to be accepted, and in order for this you need to educate people about the disabilities your children might have.  Only then can people learn to accept what it’s all about.  And well if they don’t, oh well then you move on and forget about those who are that way.  If people will not listen and wont take the time to understand, then that’s their loss not yours.  I have run into this a few time over the years and learned to walk away from people like that, you don’t need them in your life if they choose not to understand.

Life for sure is a journey and its your attitude that helps make that journey special.  I know that back then I told my Mom, I am NEVER going to a family function again, it hurts that my own family are giving me the looks and I told her I was done with it.  Well if I would have just not gotten so angry and just maybe explained it thinks might have been different, even got up in front of all the family and did a presentation on Autism and helped them to understand, (that family function is big with a lot of people).  Back then I was too quick to get pissed off…LOL.. its amazing what age can do.  Oh I have patience alright for my children, but i never had the patience for people who are ignorant in the lack of understanding.  I have never given up on my children, just gave up on the trying to explain everything.  I will say there is A LOT more information out there now than there was 18 years ago.   And I am now a very HUGE advocate for my children and fight for what is needed 🙂 You have to as tiring as it is, you fight the fight for there lives to be as normal as possible.

My advice is to don’t give up and explain to people why this happens, education is the key,  it might save you from feeling that you’re not welcomed into your family, or that your family does not love or respect you anymore.  People do not realize what a look or a few words can do to someone, especially when they deal with a lot in life and are looking for acceptance.  I got to the point I actually carried around cards with me in my purse when the kids were little that EXPLAINED WHY they were having a tantrum when we where out in public.  And let me tell you, when someone was looking at us in that plan discussing way, without a word, I would whip out a card and hand it to them, let just say the person who received the card usually did not know what to say and it was a realization that this was NOT because of “bad parenting” this child really could not help it.  And I found out years later it was because of a visually sensory overload disorder, very common in children with Autism.

I firmly believe that educating people is the way, so then no one feels hurt and not accepted.  I will leave you with some information I have shared over the years to people to help them understand our children.

Kids Who Might Need Extra Help

Isn’t every kid special? We think so, but what do we mean when we say “kids with special needs”? This means any kid who might need extra help because of a medical, emotional, or learning problem. These kids have special needs because they might need medicine, therapy, or extra help in school — stuff other kids don’t typically need or only need once in a while.

Maybe you know of kids in your school who need a wheelchair or use braces when they walk. Those kids have special needs. They not only need the equipment that helps them get around, but they might need to have ramps or elevators available. They also might need to get a special bus to school — one that lifts them up into the bus so they don’t have to get up the steps.

Kids who have an illness, such as epilepsy, diabetes, or cerebral palsy, would have special needs, too. They might need medicine or other help as they go about their daily activities. Kids with sight problems might need Braille books to read. Kids with hearing or speech problems would have special needs, too. A kid who has hearing trouble might need hearing aids to hear and speech training, too, since it can be hard to say words correctly when you can’t hear very well.

Kids with learning problems often have special needs. Kids with Down syndrome might go to a regular school and might even be in your class. But they have special needs when it comes to learning, so an aide (someone to help) might come with them to class.

You might be able to spot a few kids with special needs, but you probably don’t notice all of them. A kid could have a problem that isn’t noticeable unless you know the person well. For instance, someone could have trouble with anxiety (worry), but you wouldn’t know it unless the kid told you about it. Privately, their parents, teachers, and counselors may be working to help them with this problem.

What’s Life Like for a Special Needs Kid?

Life can be extra-challenging for a kid with special needs. It might be harder to do normal stuff — like learning to read or, if a person has physical handicaps, just getting around school or the mall. The good news is that parents, doctors, nurses, therapists, teachers, and others can help. The goal is to help kids be as independent as possible.

Other kids also can be a big help. How? By being a friend. Kids who use a wheelchair or have lots of health problems want friends just like you do. But meeting people and making friends can be tough. Some kids might tease them or make fun of them. Be sure to tell a teacher if you see someone being bullied or teased. That’s a very lonely feeling.

Also try to be helpful if you know someone with special needs. You might carry the person’s books or do something as simple as asking him or her to join you and your friends at lunch. It’s also important not to be “overly helpful” when no help is needed. Why? Because just like you, kids with special needs like to be as independent as they can be.

Being friendly to kids with special needs is one of the best ways to be helpful. As you get to know them, they may help you understand what it’s like to be in their shoes. And you’ll be helping fill a very special need, one that everybody has — the need for good friends.

What Does Autism Mean?

Autism (say: aw-tih-zum) causes kids to experience the world differently from the way most other kids do. It’s hard for kids with autism to talk with other people and express themselves using words. Kids who have autism usually keep to themselves and many can’t communicate without special help.

They also may react to what’s going on around them in unusual ways. Normal sounds may really bother someone with autism — so much so that the person covers his or her ears. Being touched, even in a gentle way, may feel uncomfortable.

Kids with autism often can’t make connections that other kids make easily. For example, when someone smiles, you know the smiling person is happy or being friendly. But a kid with autism may have trouble connecting that smile with the person’s happy feelings.

A kid who has autism also has trouble linking words to their meanings. Imagine trying to understand what your mom is saying if you didn’t know what her words really mean. It is doubly frustrating then if a kid can’t come up with the right words to express his or her own thoughts.

Autism causes kids to act in unusual ways. They might flap their hands, say certain words over and over, have temper tantrums, or play only with one particular toy. Most kids with autism don’t like changes in routines. They like to stay on a schedule that is always the same. They also may insist that their toys or other objects be arranged a certain way and get upset if these items are moved or disturbed.

If someone has autism, his or her brain has trouble with an important job: making sense of the world. Every day, your brain interprets the sights, sounds, smells, and other sensations that you experience. If your brain couldn’t help you understand these things, you would have trouble functioning, talking, going to school, and doing other everyday stuff. Kids can be mildly affected by autism, so that they only have a little trouble in life, or they can be very affected, so that they need a lot of help.

What Causes Autism?

Autism affects about 1 in every 150 kids, but no one knows what causes it. Some scientists think that some kids might be more likely to get autism because it or similar disorders run in their families. Knowing the exact cause of autism is hard because the human brain is very complicated.

The brain contains over 100 billion nerve cells called neurons (say: nur-ahns). Each neuron may have hundreds or thousands of connections that carry messages to other nerve cells in the brain and body. The connections and the chemical messengers they send (called neurotransmitters) let the neurons that help you see, feel, move, remember, and work together as they should.

For some reason, some of the cells and connections in the brain of a kid with autism — especially those that affect communication, emotions, and senses — don’t develop properly or get damaged. Scientists are still trying to understand how and why this happens

So in close look back on our life together…the rough roads..the easy roads..the hard work…we worked so hard to get to were we are today and still are …it has not been easy..but who said life was…you enjoy the road we have travel and no matter how hard it gets you will get through it…married at 19, high school sweethearts 🙂 , parents of special needs twins at 20…parent of 3 at 23…never complained about that… finding out our 3rd child has special needs as well…it was the cards we got dealt.. you can’t change what you are dealt with in life..but you can certainly be strong and go through it…no matter how hard things got we managed to somehow get through it….the anger, the tears, the laughter…and it only made us stronger in the end… yes we have made mistakes but we forgave each other and moved on… everyone makes them in life no one is perfect….the friends we have had… the friends we have gained….the ones that are truly here for us and don’t look at our kids as “bad”…who think they are awesome and see them as we do …..the realization we seen when we moved away……19 yrs later and happily married ….we are stronger and still in love… the rough times made us stronger and wiser…we are happy were we are now and would not give it up for no one and nothing…nothing we ever did was not worth it….everything we have been through has been worth it as the outcome is ………………. TOTALLY AWESOME.  We were once told that parents of special need children have a high divorce statistic…. well we refuse to be in that category 🙂

Have an awesome Day everyone 🙂

Mistakes

Mistakes

EXACTLY, we ALL have made some bad choices in our lives, done the wrong thing, acted the wrong way, BUT that does NOT mean ppl need to hold us accountable for it for the rest of our lives, I think, … Continue reading

My Life with people who DON’T Understand :)

Oh I could write a book on my experience with my kids, for those of you who don’t know I have 3 kids with Autism… oh ya Autism, I have heard of that you say..But do you understand it?? That seems to be the thing now days, people just don’t understand Autism, don’t understand the toll it take on the family, the care givers, oh don’t get me wrong I totally love my kids, and I would not change anything in them at all, the only thing I would change is the understanding people need and wishing I would have spoke up more to friends and family, you get to the point your just so tired of explaining yourself and why the kids have acted the way they did so you just shut up and go on with life.

Well let me give you a few examples of what I have learned and why things happen.  So you get the kids ready to go to Wal-Mart to shop, well you get to Wal-mart park the car and go in, next thing your children are acting out, people are looking at you as if your kids are bad..hmmm they look normal but they have Autism, problem, well it’s called sensory over load, what the heck is that well sensory overload”: Sounds seem louder, lights brighter, or smells stronger, too many people, too much noise, they literally shut down and they have a melt-down, and well this looks much like a tantrum, still to this day we have them.

Autism is a developmental disorder that some people are born with, it’s not something you can catch or pass along to someone else. Autism affects the brain and makes communicating and interacting with other people difficult.  People who have autism often have delayed language development. They usually have trouble with social interactions.  Not everybody with autism has the exact same symptoms. Some people may have autism that is mild, while others may have autism that is more severe. Because autism affects people differently, medical professionals call it a spectrum disorder. Two people with the same spectrum disorder may not act alike or have the same skills.  None of my kids act alike and all have different affect from Autism.  People with Asperger”s syndrome and milder forms of autism can have normal intellectual capabilities, and some are of above average intelligence. However, many people with autism have significant intellectual disabilities.

So eventually you get to the point where you hear family or friends tell you, you need to discipline more, haha well that I will tell you does not work on a child with Autism, why, because you’re dealing with a sensory over load not a behavior, how can you discipline a child when they cannot help what they are doing because for one the lights are too bright, or they can hear the buzz of the light, or to many people and they can hear everyone talking at once, or something they can smell is setting them off?? You can’t, and if they cannot tell you what is wrong well then you have a problem.

So eventually you just stay home, for a lot of reason, for one you don’t want the child to have a meltdown, for two people don’t get it, and for 3 they are more comfortable in their own home, there surroundings, and for four well you’re so mentally drained and just don’t have the energy to go out.

I am TIRED of explaining WHY my children act the way they do, I am TIRED of people trying to change the way I run my home, I am TIRED of people thinking they “KNOW” when they don’t, I am TIRED of speaking and giving the information and NOT being heard, if you cant understand my children then I have no patience to explain when I am not being heard, and that precious time is being taken away from them. I have been doing this for 18 years, on my own and I think my children are AWESOME. If you cant see that, then that’s your fault not mine, I don’t care if my house is not spotless,  all the time cleaning is time away from my children, I don’t care that I have 4 dogs, those dogs help my children when they need to be calmed down, I am who I am and my boys are who they are, nothing will ever change that, and I DONT want them to change, GOD made these boys special and I am so very proud of them. I do what I need to do, to survive threw the day, changing our routine or trying to change the way I run things only make it worse for everyone else, especially the kids, that just makes there behaviors worse.

For so many years I tried to keep there behaviors under control to please others especially my family,and I realized this summer that I have only made things worse than better, not letting the boys be who they are and say whats on there mind because they might “offend” someone, or might embarrass someone,  well here is how i realized what I was doing and it not only made me feel bad, it was also putting myself on edge and the boys on edge, so here is what happened, we were at a family function and I was visiting with family I have not seen in so long and I had just the twins with me as I was staying were I am from originally for a little vacation and to catch up with family and friends, now keep in mind that my boys imitate “EVERYTHING” they hear good and bad, and well it can come out at any given time, LOL, some people in my family do understand and it does not bother them, so this is what went down, the twins were opening up and talking to everyone which was totally awesome as they don’t do it to often and I was so happy to see, well one of them was imitating what there Dad said to the van when he was fixing it, now keep in mind that as a man, and you men know it that the air can be fairly blue when your doing something that is not going right etc etc..LOL.. well one of them said the word cock sucker, ok that’s NOT as bad as F bomb they like to say, and I will fill you in here, they have no clue as to the meaning of a word, especially a swear, so we have always ignored it as the more you say the more they do, and I have been told by professionals that there are alot of children who have Autism who like that F bomb word as they like the sound, they have no concept of the meaning.  WELL the family member who drove me to this function was not at all impressed at this word and well it was time to leave, I did not say anything and I was very hurt as to why we had to leave, over a word, they where doing so well bonding with other family members and now we have to leave, over one silly word, so we left, I was so upset as I myself was having a great time seeing my family and watching the boys bond.  Our family live all over and its not very often we get to see one another, on the ride back it got me thinking all the times I did not go to things over the years because of these things happening and the lack of understanding some of my family has.  Its sad really because its not only that I missed out so did my children.  I called my husband that night and was crying telling him of my realization and how upset I was, he said I know Hun, we did what we thought was right at the time so us as parents would not get the dirty looks, the rude comments, etc.

My Children suffer from AUTISM and they can NOT be treated like a “NORMAL” child.

  • Some people with ASDs may prefer to be left alone, showing no interest in people at all. They may not notice when people are talking to them. This does NOT mean they are ignoring you.
  • Difficulty controlling emotion and excitement can also affect social interaction.
  • Words may also be used without their usual meanings. People with autism may confuse gender, saying “he” when they mean “she” or vice versa, and/or pronouns (I, me, you).
  • ASDs can make it very hard to initiate communication and to keep a conversation going. People with ASDs might stand too close to the people they are talking to. Some people with ASDs can speak well and have a wide vocabulary, but have a hard time listening to others. They might go on at length about something they really like, rather than have a back-and-forth discussion with someone.
  • You can confuse them very easily, giving them to much information at once and then getting up set bc they did not do everything you asked them to do is totally unacceptable.

So with all this said I will leave you with this 🙂

The Ten Best Comebacks for Judgmental Remarks About Autism

1. “You should teach your son table manners” said the woman at the adjoining table in a casual restaurant.

Comeback: “I couldn’t agree more. He even flicked a booger in that dish you just finished eating.”

2. While waiting for their food at the Deli, Sandy finds it impossible to ignore the three women who shamelessly gossip and snicker about her son.

Comeback: She pulls out her cell phone and pretends to make a call, slightly turning away as if she doesn’t want the women to hear. “Luke, it’s Sandy . Tell the producer we should move the show to a prime time slot. I’ve just got some great hidden footage of three grown woman snickering at Jack. By the way, I got your email and I think ‘Attitudes toward Autism’ is a great title for the show.”

3. “What’s his problem?” asks a woman with a stroller while watching Dylan spin in circles. “Retarded?”

Comeback: “He’s not retarded. He’s got autism. And you know, I couldn’t help noticing that your baby keeps touching his toes and then staring at his fingers in the exact same way my son did when he was that age.”

4. “Mrs. Smith,” says the school administrator firmly, “We really can’t accommodate your request for a social skills group. And given that your son’s language is so poor, it would be of no benefit anyway.”

Comeback: “OK. But I see we agree that he needs additional speech therapy.”

5. “You should teach your son to behave” scorned the woman on the beach as she eyed Jordan hovering around her children.

Comeback: “You’re right. And you should be careful. I’m not sure if you’ve heard but they’ve just discovered that autism is contagious.”

6. At a large family gathering, Brian is facing sensory overload. He blocks his ears, squeezes his eyes shut, and then suddenly runs from the table. “That child is out of control” retorts a distant elderly relative, “and if he doesn’t shape up, somebody is going to stick him in an institution one day.”

Comeback: “How ironic! I was just thinking the same thing about you!”

7. While in the clothing store, Joe begins to verbally stim. It’s a repetitive, low monotonous hum but it typically calms him down. “You have some nerve allowing your son to disturb the public like that” exclaims a stranger in disdain.

Comeback: “Seriously? You mean all this time I’ve been completely mistaken about his musical genius?”

8. While standing in line, Zack notices the back pocket of a woman’s jeans. It’s shiny and full of sequins. Before his mother can stop him, he reaches out to touch it, thereby placing his hand on the woman’s behind. Reeling around, she exclaims “How dare you? You should teach your son self control.”

Comeback: “I’m sorry. He just has a thing for very large, round objects.”

9. At a friend’s BBQ, Jolene’s son begins to flap his hands. “What is he doing?” asks the woman sitting next to him. Does he always do that?

Comeback: “Does he always do what? Ignore rude comments? I certainly hope so.”

Children with autism have no physical distinguishable characteristics. It’s hardly surprising then that many characteristics of autism are associated with poor behavior. Parents who have children with autism face judgment at every turn. They need to develop a thick skin to endure the never ending comments, criticisms and stream of parenting advice that keeps coming their way. While sometimes these remarks are easy to ignore, there are times when your patience level reaches the max! The next time you get to this point; why not try one of these great comebacks on for size?

Have an awesome day Everyone 🙂