Lies, deception, and being taken advantage of

Well this has taken me awhile to write about as I needed to get my head around it, which I still cant but I have accepted the fact that it all happened for a reason and I have moved on.

I had posted about a child we took in, and he stated that he had been abused and kicked out of his home, he made this sound so believable. Well come to find out….. it was all a very big fat LIE.

This child is a runner, he has serious anger issues and when he get into trouble for something he has done, well he runs.

We seen it first hand, things were going great, till we got a call form the school as our son and he skipped a 15 minute detention, well we are the type that if the school calls us for something they have done now we are involved and there will be a consequences at home as well. So when they came home from school, my husband and i sat down with them to talk about this. We explained that we got he call and now they were going to have to serve 2, 15 minute detentions at school and the fact that they called us there was going to be a consequence at home and that would be no ice fishing or snowmobiling for the weekend. Our son knew what he did was wrong and tried to give an excuse for skipping his detention which we told him there was none. He accepted his punishment and did the time. You do the crime you pay the time right. Well when we got to the boy who was living with us he TOTALLY flew off the handle, started going on about how no one understood him or helped him etc.. we where like ummm we are talking about a 15 minute detention, and we dont get how this applies to that. They were late getting back from break and go the detention, you where late so you have to own up to the punishment and do the time. Well he went on and on how he was not going to do it and that they can suspend him, my husband said that will no fly in our house as there will be more consequences if that should happen, he got so angry and got up and walked away. We figured we would give him a chance to cool down, next thing he hear the front door open that there he goes down the road back pack with PlayStation in it. My husband opened the door and asked where he was going and he said leaving, he then whet down to where our son was shoveling snow and yelled and sweared at our son, saying now very nice words. He came back to get his hat and called our son some very bad names and said he did something and left again. My husband went to see our son to make sure he was ok, he was and explain what all he said to him, my husband went to try and get him into the van but he refuses and swore at my husband. I was at home on the phone with the Mother of this child telling her what was going on. We had a very long talk and now I know what she has been going threw with him. I told her everything he had told us and it was all a lie. He made it so believable, crying and shaking caring on, I felt so bad as I truly believed this had all happened to him.

He was picked up by someone we know and was driven to New Liskeard. The next day we packed his stuff and his Mom, Dad sister and himself came to get it, we all sat and had a very long talk about what had all happened, getting to know these parents I know there is NO WAY in heck they abused this child. Also when we packed his stuff he found his glasses that he told me his mom would not give them to him, so there was another lie, that was when I really questioned what all he told us, I put them on the table and when they came I made sure I said something with his mother present, he tried to deny saying this, another lie. He also refuses to go home, which I can guess it is because he does not like rules and consequences. My husband and I feel like such fools that we where strung along by this kid. I agree that he needs help and the problem with that is his mother had it all set up and he left, then I worked my butt off getting all the services in place and before the appointments he left, so by doing this who ever he goes to has to start all over and he will never get the help if he keeps running like he has been and we explained all this to him,

I dont know what will happen to this child, I have since become friends with his Mother and she is a very nice woman, and I have told her i will help her anyway I can as he needs help, we both know it, but the problem is he is 16. By law he can refuse help and make his own mind, but because of his disabilities he cant, I feel this should be changed as when you have a person with special needs they cant make up there own minds and they need someone who can. Its a battle I can see now.

I know that I did the best I can, and I know see the “true colors” of this child, I have apologized to his Mother and am glad we became friends, I have told this child that if he keeps burning ever bridge there will be no one left to help him as people will not want to because of the things he does. I still cant believe that all this happened over a silly 15 minute detention, I asked him if it was all worth it in the end and he said no, well then why? He does not know himself, he does understand alot of things, but I feel he plays people, his mom told him that he could not play us as we talk.

Since this has all happened I am glad he is not with us as I have my own 3 with special needs that I need to help. And I am to that point I will not take someone in anymore as I just cant go threw it, it was hard having him here, I spent alot of my time trying to get services in place for him for what? He ran out the first sign of getting into trouble, well when you do something wrong there is always a consequence and you need to face up to it. I explained this to him and he needs to learn this. I hope someday this will all sink into him, but now the door here is shut as I will not allow someone to act like that in my home, and will not allow someone to treat my family like crap when all you have done is open your home up to them, and tried to help them. Lesson learned here that was for sure.

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Lisa Walker

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