Looking Back Over The Years :)

 After we get married, move away and start our family, we lose touch with the rest of our family and friends.  I know we did.  Having kids changes everything.  Having children with special needs changes thing even more.  Your twice as busy, with appointments, agencies, therapy, etc.  The real issue is though, you go to family functions and well, when your child has a behavior and can’t help that some of your family gives you the look, or tries to give advice.  Well you end up leaving, feeling like a shit, sad and mad, Barry and I felt that so many times, so we thought the best was to just quit going.  This again is lack of knowledge on others parts, and not wanting to “cause” a scene and hurting others.  I use to get very angry and well I will admit I have a mouth and can fly off.  And I did not want to do that, so the best was…stay home.. Looking back now I wish I had done things differently, we had children young which was a good plan as I could not have done what I all did now.  Now that I am older, I wish I would have explained things more, but you get hurt and think screw it, I am so tired of it .  It’s sad as then you grow away from family and friends and lose touch.

Don’t let that happen to you.  You need to stand up for your children and explain to people why things happen.  EDUCATION!! Yes that’s the way to go.  We thought that by doing this we were saving ourselves from the hurt and sadness for ourselves and our children.  We all want to be accepted, and in order for this you need to educate people about the disabilities your children might have.  Only then can people learn to accept what it’s all about.  And well if they don’t, oh well then you move on and forget about those who are that way.  If people will not listen and wont take the time to understand, then that’s their loss not yours.  I have run into this a few time over the years and learned to walk away from people like that, you don’t need them in your life if they choose not to understand.

Life for sure is a journey and its your attitude that helps make that journey special.  I know that back then I told my Mom, I am NEVER going to a family function again, it hurts that my own family are giving me the looks and I told her I was done with it.  Well if I would have just not gotten so angry and just maybe explained it thinks might have been different, even got up in front of all the family and did a presentation on Autism and helped them to understand, (that family function is big with a lot of people).  Back then I was too quick to get pissed off…LOL.. its amazing what age can do.  Oh I have patience alright for my children, but i never had the patience for people who are ignorant in the lack of understanding.  I have never given up on my children, just gave up on the trying to explain everything.  I will say there is A LOT more information out there now than there was 18 years ago.   And I am now a very HUGE advocate for my children and fight for what is needed 🙂 You have to as tiring as it is, you fight the fight for there lives to be as normal as possible.

My advice is to don’t give up and explain to people why this happens, education is the key,  it might save you from feeling that you’re not welcomed into your family, or that your family does not love or respect you anymore.  People do not realize what a look or a few words can do to someone, especially when they deal with a lot in life and are looking for acceptance.  I got to the point I actually carried around cards with me in my purse when the kids were little that EXPLAINED WHY they were having a tantrum when we where out in public.  And let me tell you, when someone was looking at us in that plan discussing way, without a word, I would whip out a card and hand it to them, let just say the person who received the card usually did not know what to say and it was a realization that this was NOT because of “bad parenting” this child really could not help it.  And I found out years later it was because of a visually sensory overload disorder, very common in children with Autism.

I firmly believe that educating people is the way, so then no one feels hurt and not accepted.  I will leave you with some information I have shared over the years to people to help them understand our children.

Kids Who Might Need Extra Help

Isn’t every kid special? We think so, but what do we mean when we say “kids with special needs”? This means any kid who might need extra help because of a medical, emotional, or learning problem. These kids have special needs because they might need medicine, therapy, or extra help in school — stuff other kids don’t typically need or only need once in a while.

Maybe you know of kids in your school who need a wheelchair or use braces when they walk. Those kids have special needs. They not only need the equipment that helps them get around, but they might need to have ramps or elevators available. They also might need to get a special bus to school — one that lifts them up into the bus so they don’t have to get up the steps.

Kids who have an illness, such as epilepsy, diabetes, or cerebral palsy, would have special needs, too. They might need medicine or other help as they go about their daily activities. Kids with sight problems might need Braille books to read. Kids with hearing or speech problems would have special needs, too. A kid who has hearing trouble might need hearing aids to hear and speech training, too, since it can be hard to say words correctly when you can’t hear very well.

Kids with learning problems often have special needs. Kids with Down syndrome might go to a regular school and might even be in your class. But they have special needs when it comes to learning, so an aide (someone to help) might come with them to class.

You might be able to spot a few kids with special needs, but you probably don’t notice all of them. A kid could have a problem that isn’t noticeable unless you know the person well. For instance, someone could have trouble with anxiety (worry), but you wouldn’t know it unless the kid told you about it. Privately, their parents, teachers, and counselors may be working to help them with this problem.

What’s Life Like for a Special Needs Kid?

Life can be extra-challenging for a kid with special needs. It might be harder to do normal stuff — like learning to read or, if a person has physical handicaps, just getting around school or the mall. The good news is that parents, doctors, nurses, therapists, teachers, and others can help. The goal is to help kids be as independent as possible.

Other kids also can be a big help. How? By being a friend. Kids who use a wheelchair or have lots of health problems want friends just like you do. But meeting people and making friends can be tough. Some kids might tease them or make fun of them. Be sure to tell a teacher if you see someone being bullied or teased. That’s a very lonely feeling.

Also try to be helpful if you know someone with special needs. You might carry the person’s books or do something as simple as asking him or her to join you and your friends at lunch. It’s also important not to be “overly helpful” when no help is needed. Why? Because just like you, kids with special needs like to be as independent as they can be.

Being friendly to kids with special needs is one of the best ways to be helpful. As you get to know them, they may help you understand what it’s like to be in their shoes. And you’ll be helping fill a very special need, one that everybody has — the need for good friends.

What Does Autism Mean?

Autism (say: aw-tih-zum) causes kids to experience the world differently from the way most other kids do. It’s hard for kids with autism to talk with other people and express themselves using words. Kids who have autism usually keep to themselves and many can’t communicate without special help.

They also may react to what’s going on around them in unusual ways. Normal sounds may really bother someone with autism — so much so that the person covers his or her ears. Being touched, even in a gentle way, may feel uncomfortable.

Kids with autism often can’t make connections that other kids make easily. For example, when someone smiles, you know the smiling person is happy or being friendly. But a kid with autism may have trouble connecting that smile with the person’s happy feelings.

A kid who has autism also has trouble linking words to their meanings. Imagine trying to understand what your mom is saying if you didn’t know what her words really mean. It is doubly frustrating then if a kid can’t come up with the right words to express his or her own thoughts.

Autism causes kids to act in unusual ways. They might flap their hands, say certain words over and over, have temper tantrums, or play only with one particular toy. Most kids with autism don’t like changes in routines. They like to stay on a schedule that is always the same. They also may insist that their toys or other objects be arranged a certain way and get upset if these items are moved or disturbed.

If someone has autism, his or her brain has trouble with an important job: making sense of the world. Every day, your brain interprets the sights, sounds, smells, and other sensations that you experience. If your brain couldn’t help you understand these things, you would have trouble functioning, talking, going to school, and doing other everyday stuff. Kids can be mildly affected by autism, so that they only have a little trouble in life, or they can be very affected, so that they need a lot of help.

What Causes Autism?

Autism affects about 1 in every 150 kids, but no one knows what causes it. Some scientists think that some kids might be more likely to get autism because it or similar disorders run in their families. Knowing the exact cause of autism is hard because the human brain is very complicated.

The brain contains over 100 billion nerve cells called neurons (say: nur-ahns). Each neuron may have hundreds or thousands of connections that carry messages to other nerve cells in the brain and body. The connections and the chemical messengers they send (called neurotransmitters) let the neurons that help you see, feel, move, remember, and work together as they should.

For some reason, some of the cells and connections in the brain of a kid with autism — especially those that affect communication, emotions, and senses — don’t develop properly or get damaged. Scientists are still trying to understand how and why this happens

So in close look back on our life together…the rough roads..the easy roads..the hard work…we worked so hard to get to were we are today and still are …it has not been easy..but who said life was…you enjoy the road we have travel and no matter how hard it gets you will get through it…married at 19, high school sweethearts 🙂 , parents of special needs twins at 20…parent of 3 at 23…never complained about that… finding out our 3rd child has special needs as well…it was the cards we got dealt.. you can’t change what you are dealt with in life..but you can certainly be strong and go through it…no matter how hard things got we managed to somehow get through it….the anger, the tears, the laughter…and it only made us stronger in the end… yes we have made mistakes but we forgave each other and moved on… everyone makes them in life no one is perfect….the friends we have had… the friends we have gained….the ones that are truly here for us and don’t look at our kids as “bad”…who think they are awesome and see them as we do …..the realization we seen when we moved away……19 yrs later and happily married ….we are stronger and still in love… the rough times made us stronger and wiser…we are happy were we are now and would not give it up for no one and nothing…nothing we ever did was not worth it….everything we have been through has been worth it as the outcome is ………………. TOTALLY AWESOME.  We were once told that parents of special need children have a high divorce statistic…. well we refuse to be in that category 🙂

Have an awesome Day everyone 🙂

Going Green

So after ALOT of reading and research yesterday I decided to make my own laundry soap.  I chose to make power as I figured with the liquid for one it takes longer and for 2 you use much more.  So how did I make it… well here it is and it was soooooo easy to do. And YES it works for HE and YES it works AWESOME 🙂

1 bar of shaved soap (I used Fels-Naptha, put you can use Ivory, Zote and someone told me she uses Irish Spings)

3 cups Borax

3 cups Arm and Hammer washing soda

2 cups Purex Crystals.

Mix well together well.Add 2 tablespoons per load, yep that’s all.

I am so very impressed with how well it works and how little you use. 🙂 Enjoy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And today I made my own Deodorant, so far its working great, with all the chemicals in store bought I thought I would give this a try and so far I love it.

Here is how I made it

Ingredients:

  • 1/4 cup baking soda
  • 1/4 cup cornstarch
  • 5 tablespoon Shea Butter or Coconut Oil ( I had the Shea butter left over from something else I made)
  • essential oils (I used Lavender) 10 drops

Melt Shea butter or coconut oil which ever one you use

Mix together baking soda and cornstarch, pour melted Shea butter or coconut oil in and mix well, add essential oil, mix well

Pour or scoop into an old deodorant container. As you can see I got alot out of it

I used Lavender oil as it has MANY health benefits and I LOVE lavender 🙂 I use Lavender oil in a roll on for pain management.

Health Benefits for Lavender Essential Oil

Pain Relief:  excellent for use on tense muscles, muscle aches, rheumatism, sprains, backaches and headaches.  Massaging with lavender essential oil regularly also helps provide relief from pain in the joints.

Sleep: helps induce sleep and therefore is often recommended for insomnia.  I keep some in a small clay container near the bed.  The container is porous so the essential oil is able to permeate through, giving the room a nice, but not too overpowering smell.

Skin Care: The health benefits of lavender oil for the skin can be attributed to its antiseptic and antifungal properties.  It is used to treat various skin disorders such as acne, wrinkles, psoriasis, and other skin inflammations.  It can heal wounds, cuts, burns, and sunburns rapidly as it aids in the formation of scar tissues. Lavender oil is added to chamomile to treat eczema.

Hair Care: used on the hair can be effective in getting rid of lice and lice eggs.

Respiratory Disorders: Lavender oil is widely used for various respiratory problems including throat infections, flu, cough, cold, asthma, sinus congestion, bronchitis, whooping cough, laryngitis, and tonsillitis.  The oil can be applied on the skin of the neck, chest or back or add a few drops to hot water and use as a steam.  It is also added in many vaporizers and inhalers used for cold and coughs.

Nervous System: has a calming scent which makes it an excellent tonic for the nerves.  Therefore, it helps in treating migraines, headaches, anxiety, depression, nervous tension and emotional stress.  The refreshing aroma removes nervous exhaustion and restlessness and increases mental activity.  I used to keep an entire bottle of the oil at my desk.  If I had an especially hectic day at work (or just got out of a stressful meeting), I’d open the container, waft some of the lavender oil into my face and take a few deep breaths.  I swear by it’s ability to calm and relax and always make sure to keep a couple bottles of the oil at home.

Other health benefits of lavender include its aid in treating indigestion and stomach pain.  It is also effective against insect bites as well as repelling mosquitoes and moths.

As with many other essential oils, pregnant and breastfeeding women should avoid using lavender.  It is also recommended that diabetics stay away from lavender oil.  It may also cause allergic reactions to people having sensitive skin.

My next project will be homemade shampoo as soon as I get all the ingredients 🙂 We are going green in our house as much as possible and I am wondering for the kids with out using alot of the chemical based products if there behaviors will improve 🙂 We shall see 🙂 I am still doing ALOT of research, one change at a time 🙂 It certainly can not hurt to change the way we use products in going all natural, it is certainly better for all.

Have an awesome day everyone

Its Monday !!

Its been a bit since I have written anything its been a crazy few weeks.  We just finished a 2 day assessment for the twins.  This assessment is for when they are done school and turn 21, it goes by hours of support they will need to be able to live a normal life-like anyone that age.  So attached to these hours will be a pot of money (hopefully) that will be able to get the supports they need to do so.  So how this worked is they asked ALOT of questions about their daily life, it went from how many time you have to repeat yourself to get them to do something, to actually helping them do it. WELL I have never EVER looked at the amount of hours it would take, well let me tell you this really floored me, I can’t believe how many hours are involved in a day to support my children anyway we have to.  This really puts things into prospective, and I will say no wonder why I am tired.  This goes from actual promoting verbally, to physically helping, OMG are you following me so far?? Are you ready for the total hours in a day?? 24 HOURS, YEP 24.  How does that add up?? Well you take if you tell them to do something 5 times and that’s 30 seconds each time, that adds up over a course of a day.  I was SHOCKED, and this was only ONE child and I have 3 that I have to do this with everyday.  This assessment really made us thinks and tired us out mentally…LOL..

We are glad its done and we hope that when the time comes there will be the funding for them to be able to hire someone to help them so they will be able  have a job of some sort, with support as they will need it.  And of course there is wait lists for these things to happen, but we have started now so I hope that when they are done school there is something we can put into place for them.  They can stay in school till they are 21 which is a good thing, and after that we hope there is a program they can go to, to help fill their day.  But that’s for another year to worry about, I only live one day at a time as we need to get through this day in order to move on to the next.  In closing this I am going to leave you with an e-mail that was sent to me, I thought it appropriate for this blog.

Have an awesome day everyone 🙂

A Blue Rose
Having four visiting family members, my wife was very busy, so I offered to go to the store for her to get some needed items, which included light bulbs, paper towels, trash bags, detergent and Clorox. So off I went.
I scurried around the store, gathered up my goodies and headed for the checkout counter, only to be blocked in the narrow aisle by a young man who appeared to be about sixteen-years-old. I wasn’t in a hurry, so I patiently waited for the boy to realize that I was there. This was when he waved his hands excitedly in the air and declared in a loud voice, “Mommy, I’m over here.”
It was obvious now, he was mentally challenged and also startled as he turned and saw me  standing so close to him, waiting to squeeze by. His eyes widened and surprise exploded on his face as I said, “Hey Buddy, what’s your name?”
“My name is Denny and I’m shopping with my mother,” he responded proudly.
“Wow,” I said, “that’s a cool name; I wish my name was Denny, but my name is Steve.”
“Steve, like Stevarino?” he asked.  “Yes,” I answered. “How old are you Denny?”
“How old am I now, Mommy?” he asked his mother as she slowly came over from the next aisle.
“You’re fifteen-years-old Denny; now be a good boy and let the man pass by.”
I acknowledged her and continued to talk to Denny for several more minutes about summer, bicycles and school. I watched his brown eyes dance with excitement, because he was the center of someone’s attention. He then abruptly turned and headed toward the toy section.
Denny’s mom had a puzzled look on her face and thanked me for taking the time to talk with her son. She told me that most people wouldn’t even look at him, much less talk to him.
I told her that it was my pleasure and then I said something I have no idea where it came from, other than by the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I told her that there are plenty of red, yellow, and pink roses in God’s Garden; however, “Blue Roses” are very rare and should be appreciated for their beauty and  distinctiveness. You see, Denny is a Blue Rose and if someone doesn’t stop and smell that rose with their heart and touch that rose with their kindness, then they’ve missed a blessing from God.
She was silent for a second, then with a tear in her eye she asked, “Who are you?”
Without thinking I said, “Oh, I’m probably just a dandelion, but I sure love living in God’s garden.”
She reached out, squeezed my hand and said, “God bless you!” and then I had tears in my eyes.
May I suggest, the next time you see a BLUE ROSE , whichever  differences that person may have, don’t turn your head and walk off. Take the time to smile and say Hello. Why? Because, by the grace of GOD, this mother or father could be you. This could be your child, grandchild, niece , nephew or any other family member. What a difference a moment can mean to that person or their family.
From an old dandelion!  Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest up to God!
  “People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel!”  
  If this story touched you today, please consider sharing it with others. It’s a good one and don’t we hear or read enough awful ones… that this makes a good change?
Mistakes

Mistakes

EXACTLY, we ALL have made some bad choices in our lives, done the wrong thing, acted the wrong way, BUT that does NOT mean ppl need to hold us accountable for it for the rest of our lives, I think, … Continue reading

My Life with people who DON’T Understand :)

Oh I could write a book on my experience with my kids, for those of you who don’t know I have 3 kids with Autism… oh ya Autism, I have heard of that you say..But do you understand it?? That seems to be the thing now days, people just don’t understand Autism, don’t understand the toll it take on the family, the care givers, oh don’t get me wrong I totally love my kids, and I would not change anything in them at all, the only thing I would change is the understanding people need and wishing I would have spoke up more to friends and family, you get to the point your just so tired of explaining yourself and why the kids have acted the way they did so you just shut up and go on with life.

Well let me give you a few examples of what I have learned and why things happen.  So you get the kids ready to go to Wal-Mart to shop, well you get to Wal-mart park the car and go in, next thing your children are acting out, people are looking at you as if your kids are bad..hmmm they look normal but they have Autism, problem, well it’s called sensory over load, what the heck is that well sensory overload”: Sounds seem louder, lights brighter, or smells stronger, too many people, too much noise, they literally shut down and they have a melt-down, and well this looks much like a tantrum, still to this day we have them.

Autism is a developmental disorder that some people are born with, it’s not something you can catch or pass along to someone else. Autism affects the brain and makes communicating and interacting with other people difficult.  People who have autism often have delayed language development. They usually have trouble with social interactions.  Not everybody with autism has the exact same symptoms. Some people may have autism that is mild, while others may have autism that is more severe. Because autism affects people differently, medical professionals call it a spectrum disorder. Two people with the same spectrum disorder may not act alike or have the same skills.  None of my kids act alike and all have different affect from Autism.  People with Asperger”s syndrome and milder forms of autism can have normal intellectual capabilities, and some are of above average intelligence. However, many people with autism have significant intellectual disabilities.

So eventually you get to the point where you hear family or friends tell you, you need to discipline more, haha well that I will tell you does not work on a child with Autism, why, because you’re dealing with a sensory over load not a behavior, how can you discipline a child when they cannot help what they are doing because for one the lights are too bright, or they can hear the buzz of the light, or to many people and they can hear everyone talking at once, or something they can smell is setting them off?? You can’t, and if they cannot tell you what is wrong well then you have a problem.

So eventually you just stay home, for a lot of reason, for one you don’t want the child to have a meltdown, for two people don’t get it, and for 3 they are more comfortable in their own home, there surroundings, and for four well you’re so mentally drained and just don’t have the energy to go out.

I am TIRED of explaining WHY my children act the way they do, I am TIRED of people trying to change the way I run my home, I am TIRED of people thinking they “KNOW” when they don’t, I am TIRED of speaking and giving the information and NOT being heard, if you cant understand my children then I have no patience to explain when I am not being heard, and that precious time is being taken away from them. I have been doing this for 18 years, on my own and I think my children are AWESOME. If you cant see that, then that’s your fault not mine, I don’t care if my house is not spotless,  all the time cleaning is time away from my children, I don’t care that I have 4 dogs, those dogs help my children when they need to be calmed down, I am who I am and my boys are who they are, nothing will ever change that, and I DONT want them to change, GOD made these boys special and I am so very proud of them. I do what I need to do, to survive threw the day, changing our routine or trying to change the way I run things only make it worse for everyone else, especially the kids, that just makes there behaviors worse.

For so many years I tried to keep there behaviors under control to please others especially my family,and I realized this summer that I have only made things worse than better, not letting the boys be who they are and say whats on there mind because they might “offend” someone, or might embarrass someone,  well here is how i realized what I was doing and it not only made me feel bad, it was also putting myself on edge and the boys on edge, so here is what happened, we were at a family function and I was visiting with family I have not seen in so long and I had just the twins with me as I was staying were I am from originally for a little vacation and to catch up with family and friends, now keep in mind that my boys imitate “EVERYTHING” they hear good and bad, and well it can come out at any given time, LOL, some people in my family do understand and it does not bother them, so this is what went down, the twins were opening up and talking to everyone which was totally awesome as they don’t do it to often and I was so happy to see, well one of them was imitating what there Dad said to the van when he was fixing it, now keep in mind that as a man, and you men know it that the air can be fairly blue when your doing something that is not going right etc etc..LOL.. well one of them said the word cock sucker, ok that’s NOT as bad as F bomb they like to say, and I will fill you in here, they have no clue as to the meaning of a word, especially a swear, so we have always ignored it as the more you say the more they do, and I have been told by professionals that there are alot of children who have Autism who like that F bomb word as they like the sound, they have no concept of the meaning.  WELL the family member who drove me to this function was not at all impressed at this word and well it was time to leave, I did not say anything and I was very hurt as to why we had to leave, over a word, they where doing so well bonding with other family members and now we have to leave, over one silly word, so we left, I was so upset as I myself was having a great time seeing my family and watching the boys bond.  Our family live all over and its not very often we get to see one another, on the ride back it got me thinking all the times I did not go to things over the years because of these things happening and the lack of understanding some of my family has.  Its sad really because its not only that I missed out so did my children.  I called my husband that night and was crying telling him of my realization and how upset I was, he said I know Hun, we did what we thought was right at the time so us as parents would not get the dirty looks, the rude comments, etc.

My Children suffer from AUTISM and they can NOT be treated like a “NORMAL” child.

  • Some people with ASDs may prefer to be left alone, showing no interest in people at all. They may not notice when people are talking to them. This does NOT mean they are ignoring you.
  • Difficulty controlling emotion and excitement can also affect social interaction.
  • Words may also be used without their usual meanings. People with autism may confuse gender, saying “he” when they mean “she” or vice versa, and/or pronouns (I, me, you).
  • ASDs can make it very hard to initiate communication and to keep a conversation going. People with ASDs might stand too close to the people they are talking to. Some people with ASDs can speak well and have a wide vocabulary, but have a hard time listening to others. They might go on at length about something they really like, rather than have a back-and-forth discussion with someone.
  • You can confuse them very easily, giving them to much information at once and then getting up set bc they did not do everything you asked them to do is totally unacceptable.

So with all this said I will leave you with this 🙂

The Ten Best Comebacks for Judgmental Remarks About Autism

1. “You should teach your son table manners” said the woman at the adjoining table in a casual restaurant.

Comeback: “I couldn’t agree more. He even flicked a booger in that dish you just finished eating.”

2. While waiting for their food at the Deli, Sandy finds it impossible to ignore the three women who shamelessly gossip and snicker about her son.

Comeback: She pulls out her cell phone and pretends to make a call, slightly turning away as if she doesn’t want the women to hear. “Luke, it’s Sandy . Tell the producer we should move the show to a prime time slot. I’ve just got some great hidden footage of three grown woman snickering at Jack. By the way, I got your email and I think ‘Attitudes toward Autism’ is a great title for the show.”

3. “What’s his problem?” asks a woman with a stroller while watching Dylan spin in circles. “Retarded?”

Comeback: “He’s not retarded. He’s got autism. And you know, I couldn’t help noticing that your baby keeps touching his toes and then staring at his fingers in the exact same way my son did when he was that age.”

4. “Mrs. Smith,” says the school administrator firmly, “We really can’t accommodate your request for a social skills group. And given that your son’s language is so poor, it would be of no benefit anyway.”

Comeback: “OK. But I see we agree that he needs additional speech therapy.”

5. “You should teach your son to behave” scorned the woman on the beach as she eyed Jordan hovering around her children.

Comeback: “You’re right. And you should be careful. I’m not sure if you’ve heard but they’ve just discovered that autism is contagious.”

6. At a large family gathering, Brian is facing sensory overload. He blocks his ears, squeezes his eyes shut, and then suddenly runs from the table. “That child is out of control” retorts a distant elderly relative, “and if he doesn’t shape up, somebody is going to stick him in an institution one day.”

Comeback: “How ironic! I was just thinking the same thing about you!”

7. While in the clothing store, Joe begins to verbally stim. It’s a repetitive, low monotonous hum but it typically calms him down. “You have some nerve allowing your son to disturb the public like that” exclaims a stranger in disdain.

Comeback: “Seriously? You mean all this time I’ve been completely mistaken about his musical genius?”

8. While standing in line, Zack notices the back pocket of a woman’s jeans. It’s shiny and full of sequins. Before his mother can stop him, he reaches out to touch it, thereby placing his hand on the woman’s behind. Reeling around, she exclaims “How dare you? You should teach your son self control.”

Comeback: “I’m sorry. He just has a thing for very large, round objects.”

9. At a friend’s BBQ, Jolene’s son begins to flap his hands. “What is he doing?” asks the woman sitting next to him. Does he always do that?

Comeback: “Does he always do what? Ignore rude comments? I certainly hope so.”

Children with autism have no physical distinguishable characteristics. It’s hardly surprising then that many characteristics of autism are associated with poor behavior. Parents who have children with autism face judgment at every turn. They need to develop a thick skin to endure the never ending comments, criticisms and stream of parenting advice that keeps coming their way. While sometimes these remarks are easy to ignore, there are times when your patience level reaches the max! The next time you get to this point; why not try one of these great comebacks on for size?

Have an awesome day Everyone 🙂

Aghhh Its Monday :P

Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend 🙂

We did and now its Monday which feels like Sunday as the kids have a PA Day.. They have been really good and helpful today 🙂 They have helped clean there room, helped me with laundry… did I mention the fact I hate that L work (laundry).  Its a never ending thing in our house plus the fact that one of the boys thinks he has to change his cloths multiple times a day, taking everything out of the drawer to find that one shirt BUT leaving all the clean cloths all over the floor aghh.

As you know from recent posts I have 3 special needs kids, but I have not told you much about myself.  Well at 35 my body decided to turn old, I have suffered with Fibromyalgia for years which I will tell you SUCKS, but you keep on trucken.  So at 35 here is what happened, I ended up in the hospital as my back went on me, I was sent for an MRI to see what was going on.  So this is what they found, Spinal stinoses, herniated disks, and osteoarthritis, well thats a blow eh lol.. the pain I was having was caused by my sciatic nerve being pinched, so i was put on medications and life began again, with more pain to add to it all.  This is NOT what I needed I need to be healthy to look after my boys, right? Well I get home and still not functioning well at all, the kids were AWESOME, they helped me out of bed, getting me dressed, and with what ever I needed help with, it was a very proud moment for me as they understood that Mom was not doing that great.

Over the weeks that followed I had physio therapy, occupational therapy and a worker who came in to talk to me.  I was so upset as this is not how life was to be, I now had these things wrong and I could no longer so things I once was able to do, it was a hard blow and boy was I angry.  The physio therapist told me there was not much she could do as I had so much wrong with me that if I do one thing it would aggravate the other, great.  They ordered me a bed rail, raised tolet seat and a bath chair, and I have a walker for when things are REALLY bad.  The day all these things arrived was the day it all sunk in. After they set everything up, I got a sitter, drove to my Husbands work and as soon as he seen me he knew there was something wrong, I got into the truck with him took one look at him and broke down, I poured out all my feeling and frustrations and he listened, after I was all done, he hugged me and said Hun don’t worry, we will get threw it together, one day at a time.  He is awesome and my rock.

So life when on one day at a time and so what I cant do the things I have done in the past, I do what I can and don’t sweat the small stuff.  My kids are amazing and they know when Mom is having a bad day, they can see it as they say in my eyes, and these boys amaze me with the help and support they give.  I have never been one to take credit with all the work I have done with the boys over the years, I am to humble to say anything as someone once told me, but I am going to say I know that with all the work I have done these boys have turned out very amazing.  I would love to be able to remember the Doctor (Fibro fog sucks) to show him how my boy’s life has turned out as I was told they would never be able to walk or talk, will put that in your pipe and smoke it…LOL.. they are.

So today we are enjoying the PA Day, its a crappy day out there raining,  so we have been playing games and talking, I love sitting and talking with them, they have an amazing out look on life, so innocent and positive.

I do get worn down with them, mentally as they all crave my attention, and of course all at once, lol, and they are BUSY.  My hubby has always said the weekends are Mom’s time to sleep in, as he knows the mental draining I have, so I do and take advantage of it LOL.. I don’t think people understand the dynamics in a home with kids who have special needs, its draining sometimes physically and mentally.  like I have always said, walk a mile in my shoes and then you will understand, till then don’t judge the way we live.  Sometimes people can be so rude when they say things, but you know what I have learned over the years, this is our life, and we will do what is necessary to survive it, we live one day at a time and some days its one minute at a time, but we survive 🙂

Hope everyone is enjoying there day, have a good one 🙂 <3

Well its Saturday :)

Its the weekend.. the kids are home, my house looks like a tornado went threw it, and the kids have a PA day on Monday.  The boys try but they miss steps in between, and it goes like this, get cereal, get bowl, pour cereal ( some falls on the floor) get the milk, spill it while pouring it into the bowl, walk to the table while spilling the cereal, then eat the cereal while spilling on the table, then leaving and well the mess is there, to get them to clean it up you have to literally  stay with them and make sure it gets done right, as this is with everything they attempt to do “sign” they try.  So my weekends I get to sleep in but when I wake up the kitchen is a mess the table is a mess, and I look at it all and get over whelmed, they try.  You should see there bedroom OMG so this weekend will be helping them get things back to clean and organized, I know they try, lol see I keeping saying that so I don’t get frustrated, as we walk threw the steps on HOW to keep our rooms clean and to clean up after ourselves, its the same as I have done before and my hope is that one day it will all of a sudden click in…. I try lol

I will blog more about how it all began next week as its easier to concentrate when its quit and no interruptions as I have to think back.

Enjoy your weekend, we are going to have supper at our best friends tonight and have a relaxing time in the hot tub ahhhh I cant wait 🙂

And So it begins

We will jump now to May 24 weekend, I was not feeling so well and decided to have a nap.  Upon awakening I went outside as Barry was working in the flower beds, still not feeling well I am trying to enjoy all the work he has done but not happening, I tell him how I feel and decide to call the specialist now in charge of following the pregnancy, I am having no pain just my tummy keeps tightening.  So I call him and as we are talking I get the tightening again, he says I think you better come in, meet me at the hospital.  So I tell Barry and off we go.  I was not worried as well come on its May and my due date is the end of August.  If we were running in a Nascar race I am sure we would have won with the speed my husband was driving, I tell him to slow down but he keeps driving like we are in a race.  We get to the hospital and well I was noticed by a nurse who says oh your ready to deliver.  Looking back I can see why she would think this as I looked like I was full term at this time, I was huge, could no longer see my feet and well it was all baby.  So we meet with the specialist who checks me and well he says you are 2 centimeters dilated and in labor.. NO NO this is not supposed to be happening I still have almost 3 months to go, but it’s happening so preparations are being made to send me to London hospital.  I ended up in Hamilton as they had no room in London for me.  So here I am in an ambulance being rushed to Hamilton, scared and on meds to help stop the contractions.

We get to Hamilton were I am assets by the Dr their and more meds administered to stop the labor, Barry and my Mom are there and the meds are making me sick, they have me on total bed rest and tell us the babies are OK they do another ultra sound to make sure and at that point we ask the sexes just in case, both BOYS well Barry is tickled pink about that and we try to keep positive, all we need to do is hold on, I get needles to help mature there lungs and I am determined NOT to have these babies yet, it’s too soon.  So I spend a week there and we ask that when a bed opens to be sent to London as its much closer for our families and Barry.

After a week I am sent to St. Joseph’s Hospital in  London again by ambulance, we are happy as its closer to home.  And of course that night the labor starts again, more meds to stop it, more needles to help mature their lungs.  The try to help us prepare by taking us down to the neonatal unit which is very difficult to see all those babies so small and fighting for there lives, I am overcome by emotions and have to leave the unit, Barry and I talk outside the unit and we are both so scared as to what will happen, what the outcome will be.

June 3 1994, my ankles are so swollen that you can’t even tell I have any, I am swollen from the toes up to my knees, they are keeping an eye on that as it’s a sign of toxemia, they are deciding whether to do an emergency C-section or not they decide to wait and tell Barry to go home and get some sleep but keep the phone handy just in case as if they decide he has to get there and FAST, which is impossible as Embro to London is a good 45 minute drive.

That night they tell me I better call my husband as the swelling is going further and my blood pressure is getting very high, I call my sister first as she is in London and I am scared out of my wits as these babies are not supposed to be born till the end of August and we are in the beginning of June.  I call Barry and tell him whats going on I am crying so hard and tell him to get there fast, my sister is with me and she calls my Mom and Dad, a lady comes in from the neonatal unit with a book of picture to help me to understand what our boys will look like what to expect, I look at my sister and she knows, she tells the lady that it’s really not a good time and that my husband is not here and right now I can’t even think of all this and she asks the lady to leave.  I understand she was trying to “prepare” me but when your that scared, that sick I don’t think anything can prepare you for the outcome of it all.  My blood pressure is getting higher, and the swelling is now all over, 15 minutes later my husband walks in, my sister looks at him and he just smiled and said well I had to be here fast didn’t I.  They fill him in and get him ready for the emergency C-section, I am really sick, with Pre-eclampsia. (Pre-eclampsia  is a medical condition in which hypertension arises in pregnancy (gestational hypertension) in association with significant amounts of protein in the urine . Pre-eclampsia is a set of symptoms rather than any causative factor, and there are many different causes for the condition. It appears likely that there are substances from the placenta that can cause endothelial dysfunction in the maternal blood vessels of susceptible women.[1] While blood pressure elevation is the most visible sign of the disease, it involves generalized damage to the maternal endothelium, kidneys, and liver, with the release of vasoconstrictive factors being secondary to the original damage)   and they need to move fast as the babies are in stress now as well.  By this time I am so out of it because of how sick I am, my blood pressure is through the roof, the take us down to the operating room and the amount of doctors and nurses in there is overwhelming, a team for each baby and a team for me,. I am not put out an epidural was put into place, they proceed with the surgery, I remember telling Barry I was so tired, one of the doctors lean over and tell him DO NOT let her fall asleep your job is to keep her awake, she can’t go to sleep, that’s when he realized how seriously sick I really was.

At 3:15 am Tyler made his entry into this world, no sound, he was purple, his team took him and rushed him into the other room, right after Travis make his entry, made a little noise and went purple and was rushed away as well, they then came by us with Tyler and he was so little 3lbs 3oz, then Travis 3lbs 4oz and rushed them to the neonatal unit. I remember saying oh how cute and that’s when things went black.

Well that is all for today, tomorrow the story continues 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

The Start of a new life

Well I am going to take you back to the beginning of it all.  December of 1993 at our Christmas Party on my Mothers side, we had decided to get pregnant and well it happened quicker than we could imagine, and no it did not happen at the Christmas party LOL.. Well here I am holding my cousins little one and realized I was late. I looked at Barry and said, hey I think I am a day late.  Well turned out I was a week late, so did the test and to our surprise…. yep you guessed it I was pregnant.  We were ecstatic, married in August and decided in November to start trying and here we are in December and I am already pregnant, well that didn’t take long.  So as things progressed, I felt great with the morning sickness, and why do they call it that, I was always sick at night. But I felt great other than showing very quick, which I summed it up to because I was small.  So of course I got the jokes about, oh maybe your having twins, I laughed at the thought and continued on.  We lived in Embro, Ontario at the tiem and I worked in a little restaurant there and life was going as planned.

February 1994 came and at one of my Dr appointment he suggested that we do an ultra sound as I was big and he wanted to make sure that the due date was correct.  We scheduled the appointment and of course the teasing continued  as no one get an ultra sound that early.

Appointment date arrived and off we went to Woodstock, full bladder and hubby driving and excited, we get there and she makes him wait in the waiting area, I was nervous and so wanted him to be with me but she said no and he can come in later.  She gets ready put the thing on me and what I see was 2 little round things, I am thinking oh boy, babies don’t have 2 little round things YET, I look at her and say, that’s not 2 heads is it? She says well and turns the screen, changed the image and I see not one BUT 2 babies .  Well I laughed and cried and said OK can Barry come in NOW.  She laughs and goes and gets him.  Well he walks in takes one look at me and KNOWS there is something up, and I blurt out OMG there is 2 babies in there WELL poor Barry looks at the technician and says : “she cant do this” the lady looks at him and says Well she is and she can. So I am Pregnant with not one but two TWO babies, and remember this is February and the said due date is the end of August.

So time goes on, I grow huge eat a TON, the cravings are olives and Trisket crackers and Mc Donalds Big Macs my best restaurants are the ones who offer all you can eat, as we  really get our money’s worth, I have never ate so much in my life when I was pregnant with the twins, eating for 3 now not just one.

Well this is all for today, will write more tomorrow as now the story gets very interesting 🙂